Potent

Instead of separating out all the "counseling" I've done these past few weeks, the thought occurred to me that it all relates to one thing; i can relate to everyone's issues in some way or another. This is not a joyous truth, and this blog entry is harder to write than any of the rest, because I know that every one of my scars is a smudge on the mirror image of Christ that I am suppose to be. I am a firm believer in life being lived as an open book, so if I am to follow my own advice, I shouldn't be glueing any pages together so they cannot be read. This is not a permission for anyone to be ok with making these choices on their own as long as they are willing to own up to their consequences. This is a warning to all that these consequences are not small. They are bacteria that replace purity with the infectious disillusions of pure joy, and use your flesh to fertilize their eggs of memories that give birth to heartbreak for the rest of your human life,

You have a drug addiction? Porn addiction? Alcohol addiction? Technology addiction? Struggle with lust? Lying? Stabbing people in the back, or feel the knife of the one who is doing it to you? Boss others around to compensate for your own inadequacy? Give generously to others to hide your own selfishness? Have you given yourself away before marriage because you decided it wasn't worth the wait, or treated marriage lightheartedly, with no sacrifices? Used friends as a network to gain success? Have you ever thought about suicide? Attempted it? Ever told loved ones you never wanted to speak to them again? Ever tell them their opinion didn't matter? Have you ever tried to put God in a box by saying He could only exist in one kind of music? Ever felt like you had to tell someone you know you shouldn't cuss so much? Are there just some people you could never hang out with? If your brother couldn't pull himself away from the bar, would you refuse to sit with him? Have you ever given God the last of the time or paycheck you have, instead of the first? Do you try to rush relationships the way you want them to go, instead of letting them grow naturally through the hands of God?

In some way or another, I cannot answer no to any of these questions. I am as guilty as the sins I have committed and allowed to trap me in the web of its deceit. But I rejoice in the saving power of God's grace! It is not automatic; We can't abuse His offer and expect to be wiped clean. His offer is for us to give ourselves, entirely, over to Him, so that He can rebirth us as a new creation, pure, holy, and blameless in His image! I am blessed to say being reborn is the experience of true joy I had searched so long for, but new spiritual life does not wash away the consequences I must live with. It is a blessing to be able to share God's Love with anyone who has suffered the same addictions and disease that have ravished me, but knowing that pain you bare drives me to the most painful of tears.

It use to be a question in me as to how Jesus cried tears of blood as He wept for the sacrifice He was destined to make for us to receive eternal life, but even I could not bare the load of sin He has carried of the world.

Of all the experience I wish I could say I couldn't relate to, the most painful is that I can relate to the feeling of allowing others to make their own mistakes, and claim it be the beat way to learn from them. How could I wish this pain on anyone?

It is only by the Love of God that I can make it through each day, feeling joy for the life He has created me to live, and having victory over the sin I once knew! I want you all to know I continue to learn how to better pray for all, to share God's mercy with all, in the hopes of sharing an eternity with all, free from the bondage and decay of this world.

I know the blemishes of my mirror image of Christ can easily lead others in the wrong direction, which is why I am daily going through the wash; in hopes that these blemishes will fade, so His true image can be more easily seen in me. I would gladly take an extra helping hand to wash my mirror, which is why I so humbly offer to lend a hand of encouragement to others as they continue to allow God to cleanse their mirrors of their own potent stains.

God, forgive me, I knew not what to do, but now I know of my own weakness, and You alone have the strength to shape me into Your creation! I am so thankful for the new life You have given for me. I pray that my actions do not lead others away from You, but rather beams with the unspeakable joy that floods the heart You've given me!