Yesterday was another turn around for me. When I decided to find a new place to sing every day I did not think through all the possible human interactions I would encounter, and that was probably God's safety net to keep me from battling against too many temptations trying to persuade me not to do it. Yesterday was my day to meet the homeless.
I went to the downtown fountain circle of Belleville, Illinois and found a place on a bench, under the shade of a tree, to practice some music. I could hear a little bit of a murmur from a couple of guys on a set of benches further down the sidewalk, but I just thought they may have been trying to encourage me to sing on! Then my pride was put into check.
One of the guys got up, walked over to me, interrupted me in the middle of Michael Buble's "Everything" and Chris August's "Amen", and asked if I was homeless. When I said no, he immediately responded by yelling, "Well I am, and I don't need to hear your crap!" All I could think to do was start packing it up and find a new place to sing.
I liked the shade there and the sound of the rush of water from the fountains, so I moved down to the other end of the yard and started playing again. This time God was putting me in check. I could not play one song without considering that this man was who God placed in my life today, but I also could not get the question out of my head; "Why him, God?". I mean, he is homeless. He has a friend that's homeless with him. Who knows how they could attack me?
The more time went by, I thought about how hungry I was getting. I had not had anything to eat all day except for a self serve bowl of macaronie and cheese and a leftover Mountain Dew Baja Blast from Taco Bell. I needed to put something in me before going to work that night, but I was short on cash. I decided on a sweet tea from McDonald's because i had a dollar to spare. While I packed up Patricia, my ukulele, and drove off, the thought began to eat away at my mind; all I did was walk away.
Another thought pounded away in my head as I was sitting in the drive thru waiting for my sweet tea; there are two men in downtown Belleville that are sitting on park benches not getting a bite to eat, or a drink to sip on, today.
"FOR REAL, GOD?!? I barely have enough for my own drink, and you're wanting me to get another one to give to the very guy who cussed me out and told me my music was crap?!? NO!"
After getting my tea, and sipping on it for a bit, I pulled back up into the dive thru and bought a second one for the man on the bench.
"What the heck am I doing?"
I parked. I looked at my tea. I looked at the tea I just spent my last penny on (I had literally scraped what I could together of the change I still had underneath my Chick-fil-A cow that I keep as the protector of my spare change compartment in my car) to give to this homeless man. After a couple minutes, I began to make the drive back to the square.
The drive wasn't bad. It was when I got to the square that new thoughts started to attack.
"What are you going to say to him when you get there?"
"How is he going to react when he sees it is you walking up to him?"
"You only bought one, what's his friend going to think?"
"You don't have time for this, you have to be at work soon!"
"All the signs nearby say 'NO PARKING' and the ones around the corner are always taken."
Wouldn't you know it? All of those parking spaces around the corner were completely vacant.
I am walking toward the two men. I take a seat on another bench to plot out how I am going to approach them. I start to think about how pointless it is for me to be sitting here "plotting out" how to approach another human being. I pray for God to just bring him over to me, that way I would at least not have to deal with not having a second cup for his friend.
He gets up and walks toward me.
"...thanks for answering that prayer, God."
I cower. He passes me, circles the fountain, and returns to his friend. How's this for making me feel pathetic? During his trip around the fountain, he stopped to think about taking a drink from it, then went inside a building in hopes to find a drinking fountain.
Alright. Enough is enough. I take the walk towards them. As I get close, the man sits up and looks me right in the eyes.
"I'm not sure what to say here, sir", glancing at both of them, "...but I'd like to apologize for interrupting your peace earlier with my music. I have this extra tea from McDonald's, and I don't know if you will have anything tonight or not, but it's yours if you'll have it."
I cannot begin to describe to you the smile that came upon this man's face, or the spirit that overflowed from him as he, with no hesitation, accepted that cup. To top it off, his friend already had a drink from a gas station nearby! Now they both had a drink of their own.
"No...", the man replied, "I should do the apologizing. It's been one of those days. I shouldn't have yelled at you...how long have you been playing that mandolin, or whatever it is?"
With a sigh of relief I said, "Around three years! It's a ukulele."
"I KNEW IT!", said the man's friend.
For the next ten minutes I was introduced to Bob and Rich, two guys that call the fountains of downtown Belleville, Illinois, their temporary home.
Bob has two sleeves of tattoos, both of which came from years in a penitentiary, and Rich is just a down-home kinda guy, full of knowledge about the life of the town. They both invited me to come and sing anytime I wanted, and gave me some tips as to when the best times to "catch the crowds" are. Apparently, Belleville has some good night life.
That night at work, I found out I had made a mistake about when the next pay day was, and I was receiving a check the next day! How's that for God providing? I am reminded of the first of the beatitudes we went through lat Wednesday night, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."
God wants to provide for us, but we have to let go of what we hold so tightly to before He can put something new in our hands. Lord, give me a humble spirit.
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