So many adventures stack up lately, and with every one of them comes me saying I'm going to love blogging about them! But I have reached the point now where there are so many I couldn't possibly do them all justice without one getting lost in the shuffle; and they have all been very important in shaping me. It just feels really good to feel like I can blog again. My schedule has been really tight lately; the promotion as Co-Manager at Journeys through Genesco has completely turned my world upside down. That's a huge blessing considering this never was MY world to begin with!
Over the course of the past month, I went from being a part time Youth Pastor of a Nazarene church, a clerk at a Journeys Kidz store getting a fee hours here and there, and playing music on the street encountering whoever God brought into my path, to a full time Co-Manager of the largest volumed Journeys adult shoe store in the St Louis area at the Galleria Mall, part time Worship Leader of a new start church in St Louis, called Simplicity, and headlined concerts in Michigan, Illinois, and New York. I recently felt like the major change was the time I needed to back away from my leadership responsibilities as Parkview's Youth Pastor, but soon I will be volunteering when I can with another youth ministry team at a church closer to where I live.
The pastor of Simplicity Church shared a verbal picture with me that really hit the nail on the head for me that has really carried over to where God has led me recently in ministry:
When Jesus invited Matthew, a tax collector, to hang out, Matthew asked Him where. Jesus suggested Matthew's house. He didn't say, "But first clean up your life of sin and only invite your Christian friends to dinner." Instead, He showed up to Matthew's house with a non-judgmental heart and sincere brotherly love. When Matthew connected with that kind of unconditional love, he latched on and became one of Jesus' disciples. He still had a lot of imperfections in his life, but because of the community Jesus included him in, Matthew opened his own heart to make those improvements! That's real; unshaped by human weakness, reborn in the hands of our Creator.
It is no longer my mission to change anyone, but to include everyone in this community of Christ that I have the privilege of living in. While letting the God of the universe be the Heart-Shaper, I am free to share with others in a spirit of worship instead of imposing it!
I have had some of the roughest patches on the emotional roller coaster life has me locked in to - each spiral sends me screaming to God for a smoother track - but when the track starts to smooth out, I can't help but feel the rush of what God showed me through those moments! Then He reminds me that I'm not the only one locked into this coaster.
I wonder how you're enjoying the ride! How did that last turn change you?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Worship at Michigan
For many of you starting to follow my blog, you have found yourselves patiently waiting through my days of indecisiveness. Sometimes words are just not enough to fully capture how God is shaping our lives...when it comes down to it, there are never enough words to describe what He is doing! I want to share a bit today in hopes to give an understanding of the direction I am being led.
Over the weekend, God blessed me with a mini-vacation. I had the opportunity to open for an Indie Concert where four other musicians would inspire us in their art, and my privilege was to share God. It was not a Christian concert, and my set only included one song that could be considered for "corporate worship", yet in the midst of all the music were a people understanding and agreeing together on the meaning of the words God had laid on my heart to share. Conversations were started and God spoke through me to share the testimony He has formed my life to be.
I am sure this will not be the last time I share this, because it seems like our human minds have somehow gotten so caught up in fear that we have lost the ability to not make life so complicated. God never gave us rules for how to write music or lead others to sing to Him, but He shares many moments where His people sang and danced before Him, about Him, and about the ways of life around them they were going through while living for Him. We worship God with our lives. The very essence of our being speaks of our Creator.
The reason why God's Law is not a law of a dictator is because I believe He was sharing with us what should be as common sense; "Do that, and this will happen." There are times when we should sing together, because that's what we do when we are at any concert and love the lyrics. There are times when we should spark a reaction in each other, offer an "amen", an "I agree", an "I've totally been there", and even the "I have no idea what you're talking about".
Walking out on the shores of Lake Michigan helped me breath easier; I have recently been so caught up with the pressures of being an adult that "resting" had become somewhat of a dream. In those peaceful moments of taking in the air and beauty of God's creation, He showed me that we should never feel like we have to complicate the lives we've been given. When we are willing to place our lives back into His arms, we can see that He entrusts us as caretakers of His talents, Love, and beauty. The way we worship is our response.
Over the weekend, God blessed me with a mini-vacation. I had the opportunity to open for an Indie Concert where four other musicians would inspire us in their art, and my privilege was to share God. It was not a Christian concert, and my set only included one song that could be considered for "corporate worship", yet in the midst of all the music were a people understanding and agreeing together on the meaning of the words God had laid on my heart to share. Conversations were started and God spoke through me to share the testimony He has formed my life to be.
I am sure this will not be the last time I share this, because it seems like our human minds have somehow gotten so caught up in fear that we have lost the ability to not make life so complicated. God never gave us rules for how to write music or lead others to sing to Him, but He shares many moments where His people sang and danced before Him, about Him, and about the ways of life around them they were going through while living for Him. We worship God with our lives. The very essence of our being speaks of our Creator.
The reason why God's Law is not a law of a dictator is because I believe He was sharing with us what should be as common sense; "Do that, and this will happen." There are times when we should sing together, because that's what we do when we are at any concert and love the lyrics. There are times when we should spark a reaction in each other, offer an "amen", an "I agree", an "I've totally been there", and even the "I have no idea what you're talking about".
Walking out on the shores of Lake Michigan helped me breath easier; I have recently been so caught up with the pressures of being an adult that "resting" had become somewhat of a dream. In those peaceful moments of taking in the air and beauty of God's creation, He showed me that we should never feel like we have to complicate the lives we've been given. When we are willing to place our lives back into His arms, we can see that He entrusts us as caretakers of His talents, Love, and beauty. The way we worship is our response.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
John the Caretaker: A Return to Long Acre Park
Today was a return to Long Acre Park. I know I had stated before that I would seek out a new location every day, but my recent schedule is making its twists and turns. In the midst of it all, I did end up finding a good spot in the bleachers of a baseball field to sing.
I am excited because today I got to meet John, one of the city park's caretakers. John is an African American with a family. He works from Spring through October and collects unemployment through the rest of the year. He loves his job and holds onto the hope of being able to be supportive. John is an inspiration because of the smile he shares while he serves the community and makes daily sacrifices for those he loves.
I pray for the strive to make those sacrifices for my family, both of those that I was born into, and for those in the family God blesses me with in the future.
What's your story?
I am excited because today I got to meet John, one of the city park's caretakers. John is an African American with a family. He works from Spring through October and collects unemployment through the rest of the year. He loves his job and holds onto the hope of being able to be supportive. John is an inspiration because of the smile he shares while he serves the community and makes daily sacrifices for those he loves.
I pray for the strive to make those sacrifices for my family, both of those that I was born into, and for those in the family God blesses me with in the future.
What's your story?
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Pat: Salute to Steel Sculpture Park, Venice, Illinois
Tonight, while driving into Illinois from St Louis on the McKinley Bridge, I passed the "Salute to Steel" sculpture park near Venice. This is where God ended up wanting me to stop and sing. I tried to keep driving, because why would God have me stop at a place where no one stops, right? The farther I drove, the more my heart pounded. I could do nothing but turn around.
I parked at the little resting spot by the sculpture. At least, I thought, this was a good opportunity for me to get out and read about the history of the local area. I never knew Route 66 once came in via the McKinley Bridge, or that before the bridge was there this road was made of wood planks leading to a river ferry boat. I learned that, before it was a bridge for vehicles, rails formed a way for trains to cross the river, and since the area streets so easily flood, the people felt it only best to name the town Venice, after the one in Italy.
The whole time I was still questioning why God wanted me to stop, but a little picnic shelter on the grounds was a perfect spot to play the ukulele while taking in the sounds of the traffic, trains, and the voices of people from the neighborhood behind the line of surrounding tree line.
It was when I started to sing Reign In Us that a man on a bicycle rode up and began to listen. After parking and walking over to throw away some trash, he sat at the table and said, "Keep playing! I'm loving this!" Because of that invitation I did not feel bad for stopping. When I reached the end of the song, I knew it was time to introduce myself and meet who God had brought into my life.
Tonight, I met Pat. Pat rides his bike from Granite City to his corner in St Louis every day to hold his sign and ask for donations, which helps purchase the medication he needs for a major sinus infection that he has been battling with for months, and doctors are not able to spot the cause of. He rooms with a local guy for a place to sleep, and his sister drives for the Metro Bus service. Pat wears a wristband that says, "Tagged for Jesus", and engraved on the inside is a scripture half wore off. Pat knows the scripture from Numbers by heart, because it is one filled with encouragement that God knows the plans He has for us, and this promise of comfort has gotten him through some pretty tough days.
I had the honor of praying for Pat, but the cool part was Pat's response to my prayer. When I finished with my "Amen", Pat, with his eyes still closed, tapped the table and said, "my turn."
In his prayer, Pat said, "God, You know I try to talk with you every day, but I know I need to draw closer to You. Thank you for bringing Tim into my life today to inspire me to remember that, and bless him so that he can live in peace and have plenty to live on. Amen."
God, I cannot thank You enough for where You have been taking me. Thank You for Your Love and provision!
What is your story?
I parked at the little resting spot by the sculpture. At least, I thought, this was a good opportunity for me to get out and read about the history of the local area. I never knew Route 66 once came in via the McKinley Bridge, or that before the bridge was there this road was made of wood planks leading to a river ferry boat. I learned that, before it was a bridge for vehicles, rails formed a way for trains to cross the river, and since the area streets so easily flood, the people felt it only best to name the town Venice, after the one in Italy.
The whole time I was still questioning why God wanted me to stop, but a little picnic shelter on the grounds was a perfect spot to play the ukulele while taking in the sounds of the traffic, trains, and the voices of people from the neighborhood behind the line of surrounding tree line.
It was when I started to sing Reign In Us that a man on a bicycle rode up and began to listen. After parking and walking over to throw away some trash, he sat at the table and said, "Keep playing! I'm loving this!" Because of that invitation I did not feel bad for stopping. When I reached the end of the song, I knew it was time to introduce myself and meet who God had brought into my life.
Tonight, I met Pat. Pat rides his bike from Granite City to his corner in St Louis every day to hold his sign and ask for donations, which helps purchase the medication he needs for a major sinus infection that he has been battling with for months, and doctors are not able to spot the cause of. He rooms with a local guy for a place to sleep, and his sister drives for the Metro Bus service. Pat wears a wristband that says, "Tagged for Jesus", and engraved on the inside is a scripture half wore off. Pat knows the scripture from Numbers by heart, because it is one filled with encouragement that God knows the plans He has for us, and this promise of comfort has gotten him through some pretty tough days.
I had the honor of praying for Pat, but the cool part was Pat's response to my prayer. When I finished with my "Amen", Pat, with his eyes still closed, tapped the table and said, "my turn."
In his prayer, Pat said, "God, You know I try to talk with you every day, but I know I need to draw closer to You. Thank you for bringing Tim into my life today to inspire me to remember that, and bless him so that he can live in peace and have plenty to live on. Amen."
God, I cannot thank You enough for where You have been taking me. Thank You for Your Love and provision!
What is your story?
Niko and Karate: O'Fallon, Illinois, City Park
I got to sing in the city park in O'Fallon, Illinois, yesterday. While singing God placed, in the distance, families spending time together at the playground; a mother and father encouraging their children and playing together. They ended up having a picnic at the shelter far from mine and looked over at me occasionally with smiles on their faces. I'm not sure if they saw me as a scary, strange man with a scrappy little guitar to make sure their children didn't get too close to, or if they could even hear me well enough to know that I was singing about God and His influence in our lives, but I was OK with that. There comes a time when have to realize that we are not the ones in charge of reaching every person out of the corner of our eyes and that God is in control of the makings of our hearts.
As I was finishing my song, Lies, three teenagers arrived as school had just ended for the day. God did bring these three into my path. I had the privilege of meeting Niko, Chloe, and Jeff. (jeff if I remember correctly - I am still working on the everyone has a name for a reason thing). Niko is the lead guitarist in a band called Paradigm Symphony, he has a fauxhawk and is a native of Hawaii. (I think he even has a birth certificate to prove it.) Paradigm Symphony's music is heavy.
Chloe is cool and stylish, and has that punk girl vibe.
Jeff has the tendency to be a little slower than average, but today he was being taught some - what I am assuming were - Karate moves by Niko. Niko was working slowly with Jeff, guiding his hands and feet in the direction they needed to go.
It is just super cool to see how people help each other. I guarantee what Niko did for Jeff yesterday encouraged him so much, just simply for the reason of spending time together.
I pray I free myself to do the same. Knowledge is not always what we need, sometimes we just need to know someone desires to share their time.
As I was finishing my song, Lies, three teenagers arrived as school had just ended for the day. God did bring these three into my path. I had the privilege of meeting Niko, Chloe, and Jeff. (jeff if I remember correctly - I am still working on the everyone has a name for a reason thing). Niko is the lead guitarist in a band called Paradigm Symphony, he has a fauxhawk and is a native of Hawaii. (I think he even has a birth certificate to prove it.) Paradigm Symphony's music is heavy.
Chloe is cool and stylish, and has that punk girl vibe.
Jeff has the tendency to be a little slower than average, but today he was being taught some - what I am assuming were - Karate moves by Niko. Niko was working slowly with Jeff, guiding his hands and feet in the direction they needed to go.
It is just super cool to see how people help each other. I guarantee what Niko did for Jeff yesterday encouraged him so much, just simply for the reason of spending time together.
I pray I free myself to do the same. Knowledge is not always what we need, sometimes we just need to know someone desires to share their time.
Answers to a Community of Prayer
Thank you all for your prayers! The meeting I had with the District Manager, Corey, of the Journeys in the district I work in turned out to be an offer; a promotion to Co-Manager of a Journeys store in the St louis area. The catch is that its schedule requires me working some Sundays, which complicates my role in youth ministry.
Because of your prayers, God has provided a way for me to continue serving in youth ministry, reach out with the street music ministry, and begin a more stable career by gaining on-hand experience in management. My role in youth ministry will begin to take on the role as more of a trainer, which is such a blessing to begin working with youth and families an help them find areas to serve as leaders in the church! Yesterday, it was my privilege to hand the Sunday School lesson materials over to one of our senior high students. She accepted the position without hesitation and has already began thinking of ideas for the class. A couple parents have already asked what ways they may be able to help with transportation for events and we are possibly in the works of planning a Mother/Daughter day in Forest Park. Another of the senior high students has begun expressing an interest in leading a cooking ministry on another night during the week.
I start the new position at Journeys in mid-September to make a way for me to keep my singing engagements on my calendar, and in October the manager is making a way for me to be able to still go to New York and sing music to raise funds for Shannon's Fight! The new schedule will allow me to still have some evenings free for scheduling concerts and speaking engagements, and the atmosphere has always been influenced by the music culture. I cannot be more thankful!
God has ways of supplying out needs; we must be willing to accept what He gives us and invest them for His return.
Because of your prayers, God has provided a way for me to continue serving in youth ministry, reach out with the street music ministry, and begin a more stable career by gaining on-hand experience in management. My role in youth ministry will begin to take on the role as more of a trainer, which is such a blessing to begin working with youth and families an help them find areas to serve as leaders in the church! Yesterday, it was my privilege to hand the Sunday School lesson materials over to one of our senior high students. She accepted the position without hesitation and has already began thinking of ideas for the class. A couple parents have already asked what ways they may be able to help with transportation for events and we are possibly in the works of planning a Mother/Daughter day in Forest Park. Another of the senior high students has begun expressing an interest in leading a cooking ministry on another night during the week.
I start the new position at Journeys in mid-September to make a way for me to keep my singing engagements on my calendar, and in October the manager is making a way for me to be able to still go to New York and sing music to raise funds for Shannon's Fight! The new schedule will allow me to still have some evenings free for scheduling concerts and speaking engagements, and the atmosphere has always been influenced by the music culture. I cannot be more thankful!
God has ways of supplying out needs; we must be willing to accept what He gives us and invest them for His return.
The JC Challenge: Mount Vernon, Illinois
Lots to blog about, and it has been busier than a bee with one wing recently! Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to sing and speak at the Mount Vernon, Illinois, JC Challenge 2012 Festival. The event director described what the festival is all about when he said "JC" stands for both "Jefferson County" and "Jesus Christ", because it is their call for the county to have a focus on worship and leading to Christ.
Here is how my selfishness started the day - the first music artist was like a mix between Needtobreathe and Chris Tomlin; he brought the foot tappin' spirit into kickstarting us into the worship mode, and had invested his talents through the years. He was also the only artist of the day that brought his own cd's to distribute. Basically, he could have very well been a headliner.
After him was the Logan Street Baptist Church Worship Team. Their lead singer is Brian Fuller; a singer who has a history in the industry, and has had a few albums in the professional market. His major influence has been Brian Duncan and gleans a few vocal elements from groups like Petra. They have 'production' down to a science; they brought a real sense of worship, but you could tell they were very polished. They could have definitely been an opener for a headliner in the festival.
I was next and have been blessed to build a great network with many people. God has brought a lot of opportunities into my path that I've never dreamed of having. I am by no means in the professional market yet - however much I would like to be - but my thought was storming through my brain that if we were the first in the line-up, the rest of the evening had to be good for sure!
The next band was a local worship team that consisted of five middle aged adults that could have very well just stepped up from the crowd to sing karaoke to a soundtrack. They had decent voices, but if faced by Simon Cowell as a judge would have been chopped up like fresh beef. My first reaction was to question what they were doing on the stage, but then God asked me to look around. The Church was in worship! This moment was not about the professionalism of the artists that were chosen, but that this body of believers were all worshipping together!
From then on, the line-up consisted on more people that just couldn't help but sing about their love for God and guide others to join. It really changed my view about what we are trying to do here. David Crowder and Josh Wilson are amazingly talented worship leaders, but I think it was Mac Powell who put it in such a great light at the beginning of a Third Day show, and I am just now REALLY beginning to understand what he said:
"If you came here to see a concert you might as well go home, because we are here to worship God. He is the reason why we are here."
See, Third Day, Casting Crown, The David Crowder Band, and Logan Street Baptist Church's Worship Team put on talented concerts, but that is all they are if they were only on stage to show off a performance and if the crowd only came to head bang or fist pump. Church looks so much different when we come together for worship. It is a blessing to have a professional kickstart the moment by stirring up the atmosphere for everyone to soften their hearts and let the Spirit lead, but there comes a time when the performer has to step back and let the Church sing out. That is music to the ears of our Creator.
The last to have the stage was the EOCC, a gospel church that brought a youth drama team, worship band, and a special testimonial speaker. They started out by having their drama team do an interpretive movement off of the stage, which forced everyone to gather closer to the stage and climb out of their camping chairs to see what was going on. If anyone had not opened their heart for the move of the Spirit, they were touched by this display of worship! When the music began for us to join and sing, the Church was to their feet and humbled by the presence of our Mighty Savior, and once the speaker gave his testimony, my knees weakened and I could not help but humbly bow before my Lord in prayer. It was not until me and a brother in Christ that had been praying next to me reached out to each other that we could help each other stand again. That is a blessed moment when God shows you that life is dependent on the His strength and the support of a fellow believer.
The JC Challenge ended with a closing prayer, and then continued with prayer circles where people were praying for each other to receive Christ, believe in His healing for illnesses, diseases, peace, and understanding. We witnessed a little boy that was deaf in one ear be able to hear, a woman in a wheelchair be able to stand, and a couple who was emotionally wore out from financial strain be able to laugh again.
A teenager named Maye came up to me and asked for prayer. She has been following Christ for a while, but has been living in fear of how to live it out around her unsaved family and friends. She shared with me her natural shyness and how that effects sharing her faith. We prayed for God to touch her with His hand of protection and give her a sense of confidence and strength for standing strong in her relationship with our Creator. Maye told me about how she did not know if she did the right thing by sharing with her class that Jesus was her hero a week ago for the "Who is Your Hero" assignment at school, but know she feels like she did the right thing. Maye left the festival on Saturday hoping to share what God has done in her life with her family, because God is glorified when we allow Him to use His strength through our weaknesses. Maye is an inspiring leader.
God is still moving.
Here is how my selfishness started the day - the first music artist was like a mix between Needtobreathe and Chris Tomlin; he brought the foot tappin' spirit into kickstarting us into the worship mode, and had invested his talents through the years. He was also the only artist of the day that brought his own cd's to distribute. Basically, he could have very well been a headliner.
After him was the Logan Street Baptist Church Worship Team. Their lead singer is Brian Fuller; a singer who has a history in the industry, and has had a few albums in the professional market. His major influence has been Brian Duncan and gleans a few vocal elements from groups like Petra. They have 'production' down to a science; they brought a real sense of worship, but you could tell they were very polished. They could have definitely been an opener for a headliner in the festival.
I was next and have been blessed to build a great network with many people. God has brought a lot of opportunities into my path that I've never dreamed of having. I am by no means in the professional market yet - however much I would like to be - but my thought was storming through my brain that if we were the first in the line-up, the rest of the evening had to be good for sure!
The next band was a local worship team that consisted of five middle aged adults that could have very well just stepped up from the crowd to sing karaoke to a soundtrack. They had decent voices, but if faced by Simon Cowell as a judge would have been chopped up like fresh beef. My first reaction was to question what they were doing on the stage, but then God asked me to look around. The Church was in worship! This moment was not about the professionalism of the artists that were chosen, but that this body of believers were all worshipping together!
From then on, the line-up consisted on more people that just couldn't help but sing about their love for God and guide others to join. It really changed my view about what we are trying to do here. David Crowder and Josh Wilson are amazingly talented worship leaders, but I think it was Mac Powell who put it in such a great light at the beginning of a Third Day show, and I am just now REALLY beginning to understand what he said:
"If you came here to see a concert you might as well go home, because we are here to worship God. He is the reason why we are here."
See, Third Day, Casting Crown, The David Crowder Band, and Logan Street Baptist Church's Worship Team put on talented concerts, but that is all they are if they were only on stage to show off a performance and if the crowd only came to head bang or fist pump. Church looks so much different when we come together for worship. It is a blessing to have a professional kickstart the moment by stirring up the atmosphere for everyone to soften their hearts and let the Spirit lead, but there comes a time when the performer has to step back and let the Church sing out. That is music to the ears of our Creator.
The last to have the stage was the EOCC, a gospel church that brought a youth drama team, worship band, and a special testimonial speaker. They started out by having their drama team do an interpretive movement off of the stage, which forced everyone to gather closer to the stage and climb out of their camping chairs to see what was going on. If anyone had not opened their heart for the move of the Spirit, they were touched by this display of worship! When the music began for us to join and sing, the Church was to their feet and humbled by the presence of our Mighty Savior, and once the speaker gave his testimony, my knees weakened and I could not help but humbly bow before my Lord in prayer. It was not until me and a brother in Christ that had been praying next to me reached out to each other that we could help each other stand again. That is a blessed moment when God shows you that life is dependent on the His strength and the support of a fellow believer.
The JC Challenge ended with a closing prayer, and then continued with prayer circles where people were praying for each other to receive Christ, believe in His healing for illnesses, diseases, peace, and understanding. We witnessed a little boy that was deaf in one ear be able to hear, a woman in a wheelchair be able to stand, and a couple who was emotionally wore out from financial strain be able to laugh again.
A teenager named Maye came up to me and asked for prayer. She has been following Christ for a while, but has been living in fear of how to live it out around her unsaved family and friends. She shared with me her natural shyness and how that effects sharing her faith. We prayed for God to touch her with His hand of protection and give her a sense of confidence and strength for standing strong in her relationship with our Creator. Maye told me about how she did not know if she did the right thing by sharing with her class that Jesus was her hero a week ago for the "Who is Your Hero" assignment at school, but know she feels like she did the right thing. Maye left the festival on Saturday hoping to share what God has done in her life with her family, because God is glorified when we allow Him to use His strength through our weaknesses. Maye is an inspiring leader.
God is still moving.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
A Community of Prayer
While I didn't get to sing yesterday anymore than just a run through of what I am doing at the JC Challenge today, God filled the day with so much more to consider. After blogging about Bob and Tom, I ate the last of my macaroni and cheese and headed over to the workplace to update my work schedule and meet our District Manager, Corey. Little did I know that a conversation I would start with him about what growing with the company would look like would result in what happened next, and I am still in utmost prayer about the decision.
I can not yet share all of the details, but what I can say is that my weekly "routine" would be completely turned upside down. After a private chat on a pair of couches in St Clair Mall, Corey invited me to go with him to meet a manager of the largest volumed Journeys store in St Louis. Our conversation on the way there consisted of everything from billboards and movies to corporate ranks and the use of the word "microscopically". The store we visited consists of about 8-10 times the inventory I have been use to, and twice the staff to handle it; if I owned half the merchandise in this store, I would be the jealousy of every shoe addict and the brunt end of every man's jokes, but I would have one freakin' SWEET room of shoes!
I was able to sit down with the store manager and share my story and hear his as well. In the end, an offer was made to me that would allow me to share my love of God and His Love for us to far more people, but would alter the way I serve in the Church; the Body of Christ.
What I am asking for now is a community of prayer that God grant me the ear to stay in tune with His soft whisper, the strength to persevere and devote my life to Him in a new way, and that my will not be greater than His. Will you join me in a community of prayer?
I can not yet share all of the details, but what I can say is that my weekly "routine" would be completely turned upside down. After a private chat on a pair of couches in St Clair Mall, Corey invited me to go with him to meet a manager of the largest volumed Journeys store in St Louis. Our conversation on the way there consisted of everything from billboards and movies to corporate ranks and the use of the word "microscopically". The store we visited consists of about 8-10 times the inventory I have been use to, and twice the staff to handle it; if I owned half the merchandise in this store, I would be the jealousy of every shoe addict and the brunt end of every man's jokes, but I would have one freakin' SWEET room of shoes!
I was able to sit down with the store manager and share my story and hear his as well. In the end, an offer was made to me that would allow me to share my love of God and His Love for us to far more people, but would alter the way I serve in the Church; the Body of Christ.
What I am asking for now is a community of prayer that God grant me the ear to stay in tune with His soft whisper, the strength to persevere and devote my life to Him in a new way, and that my will not be greater than His. Will you join me in a community of prayer?
Friday, August 24, 2012
Bob and Tom: The Fountains of Belleville Square
Yesterday was another turn around for me. When I decided to find a new place to sing every day I did not think through all the possible human interactions I would encounter, and that was probably God's safety net to keep me from battling against too many temptations trying to persuade me not to do it. Yesterday was my day to meet the homeless.
I went to the downtown fountain circle of Belleville, Illinois and found a place on a bench, under the shade of a tree, to practice some music. I could hear a little bit of a murmur from a couple of guys on a set of benches further down the sidewalk, but I just thought they may have been trying to encourage me to sing on! Then my pride was put into check.
One of the guys got up, walked over to me, interrupted me in the middle of Michael Buble's "Everything" and Chris August's "Amen", and asked if I was homeless. When I said no, he immediately responded by yelling, "Well I am, and I don't need to hear your crap!" All I could think to do was start packing it up and find a new place to sing.
I liked the shade there and the sound of the rush of water from the fountains, so I moved down to the other end of the yard and started playing again. This time God was putting me in check. I could not play one song without considering that this man was who God placed in my life today, but I also could not get the question out of my head; "Why him, God?". I mean, he is homeless. He has a friend that's homeless with him. Who knows how they could attack me?
The more time went by, I thought about how hungry I was getting. I had not had anything to eat all day except for a self serve bowl of macaronie and cheese and a leftover Mountain Dew Baja Blast from Taco Bell. I needed to put something in me before going to work that night, but I was short on cash. I decided on a sweet tea from McDonald's because i had a dollar to spare. While I packed up Patricia, my ukulele, and drove off, the thought began to eat away at my mind; all I did was walk away.
Another thought pounded away in my head as I was sitting in the drive thru waiting for my sweet tea; there are two men in downtown Belleville that are sitting on park benches not getting a bite to eat, or a drink to sip on, today.
"FOR REAL, GOD?!? I barely have enough for my own drink, and you're wanting me to get another one to give to the very guy who cussed me out and told me my music was crap?!? NO!"
After getting my tea, and sipping on it for a bit, I pulled back up into the dive thru and bought a second one for the man on the bench.
"What the heck am I doing?"
I parked. I looked at my tea. I looked at the tea I just spent my last penny on (I had literally scraped what I could together of the change I still had underneath my Chick-fil-A cow that I keep as the protector of my spare change compartment in my car) to give to this homeless man. After a couple minutes, I began to make the drive back to the square.
The drive wasn't bad. It was when I got to the square that new thoughts started to attack.
"What are you going to say to him when you get there?"
"How is he going to react when he sees it is you walking up to him?"
"You only bought one, what's his friend going to think?"
"You don't have time for this, you have to be at work soon!"
"All the signs nearby say 'NO PARKING' and the ones around the corner are always taken."
Wouldn't you know it? All of those parking spaces around the corner were completely vacant.
I am walking toward the two men. I take a seat on another bench to plot out how I am going to approach them. I start to think about how pointless it is for me to be sitting here "plotting out" how to approach another human being. I pray for God to just bring him over to me, that way I would at least not have to deal with not having a second cup for his friend.
He gets up and walks toward me.
"...thanks for answering that prayer, God."
I cower. He passes me, circles the fountain, and returns to his friend. How's this for making me feel pathetic? During his trip around the fountain, he stopped to think about taking a drink from it, then went inside a building in hopes to find a drinking fountain.
Alright. Enough is enough. I take the walk towards them. As I get close, the man sits up and looks me right in the eyes.
"I'm not sure what to say here, sir", glancing at both of them, "...but I'd like to apologize for interrupting your peace earlier with my music. I have this extra tea from McDonald's, and I don't know if you will have anything tonight or not, but it's yours if you'll have it."
I cannot begin to describe to you the smile that came upon this man's face, or the spirit that overflowed from him as he, with no hesitation, accepted that cup. To top it off, his friend already had a drink from a gas station nearby! Now they both had a drink of their own.
"No...", the man replied, "I should do the apologizing. It's been one of those days. I shouldn't have yelled at you...how long have you been playing that mandolin, or whatever it is?"
With a sigh of relief I said, "Around three years! It's a ukulele."
"I KNEW IT!", said the man's friend.
For the next ten minutes I was introduced to Bob and Rich, two guys that call the fountains of downtown Belleville, Illinois, their temporary home.
Bob has two sleeves of tattoos, both of which came from years in a penitentiary, and Rich is just a down-home kinda guy, full of knowledge about the life of the town. They both invited me to come and sing anytime I wanted, and gave me some tips as to when the best times to "catch the crowds" are. Apparently, Belleville has some good night life.
That night at work, I found out I had made a mistake about when the next pay day was, and I was receiving a check the next day! How's that for God providing? I am reminded of the first of the beatitudes we went through lat Wednesday night, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."
God wants to provide for us, but we have to let go of what we hold so tightly to before He can put something new in our hands. Lord, give me a humble spirit.
What is your story?
I went to the downtown fountain circle of Belleville, Illinois and found a place on a bench, under the shade of a tree, to practice some music. I could hear a little bit of a murmur from a couple of guys on a set of benches further down the sidewalk, but I just thought they may have been trying to encourage me to sing on! Then my pride was put into check.
One of the guys got up, walked over to me, interrupted me in the middle of Michael Buble's "Everything" and Chris August's "Amen", and asked if I was homeless. When I said no, he immediately responded by yelling, "Well I am, and I don't need to hear your crap!" All I could think to do was start packing it up and find a new place to sing.
I liked the shade there and the sound of the rush of water from the fountains, so I moved down to the other end of the yard and started playing again. This time God was putting me in check. I could not play one song without considering that this man was who God placed in my life today, but I also could not get the question out of my head; "Why him, God?". I mean, he is homeless. He has a friend that's homeless with him. Who knows how they could attack me?
The more time went by, I thought about how hungry I was getting. I had not had anything to eat all day except for a self serve bowl of macaronie and cheese and a leftover Mountain Dew Baja Blast from Taco Bell. I needed to put something in me before going to work that night, but I was short on cash. I decided on a sweet tea from McDonald's because i had a dollar to spare. While I packed up Patricia, my ukulele, and drove off, the thought began to eat away at my mind; all I did was walk away.
Another thought pounded away in my head as I was sitting in the drive thru waiting for my sweet tea; there are two men in downtown Belleville that are sitting on park benches not getting a bite to eat, or a drink to sip on, today.
"FOR REAL, GOD?!? I barely have enough for my own drink, and you're wanting me to get another one to give to the very guy who cussed me out and told me my music was crap?!? NO!"
After getting my tea, and sipping on it for a bit, I pulled back up into the dive thru and bought a second one for the man on the bench.
"What the heck am I doing?"
I parked. I looked at my tea. I looked at the tea I just spent my last penny on (I had literally scraped what I could together of the change I still had underneath my Chick-fil-A cow that I keep as the protector of my spare change compartment in my car) to give to this homeless man. After a couple minutes, I began to make the drive back to the square.
The drive wasn't bad. It was when I got to the square that new thoughts started to attack.
"What are you going to say to him when you get there?"
"How is he going to react when he sees it is you walking up to him?"
"You only bought one, what's his friend going to think?"
"You don't have time for this, you have to be at work soon!"
"All the signs nearby say 'NO PARKING' and the ones around the corner are always taken."
Wouldn't you know it? All of those parking spaces around the corner were completely vacant.
I am walking toward the two men. I take a seat on another bench to plot out how I am going to approach them. I start to think about how pointless it is for me to be sitting here "plotting out" how to approach another human being. I pray for God to just bring him over to me, that way I would at least not have to deal with not having a second cup for his friend.
He gets up and walks toward me.
"...thanks for answering that prayer, God."
I cower. He passes me, circles the fountain, and returns to his friend. How's this for making me feel pathetic? During his trip around the fountain, he stopped to think about taking a drink from it, then went inside a building in hopes to find a drinking fountain.
Alright. Enough is enough. I take the walk towards them. As I get close, the man sits up and looks me right in the eyes.
"I'm not sure what to say here, sir", glancing at both of them, "...but I'd like to apologize for interrupting your peace earlier with my music. I have this extra tea from McDonald's, and I don't know if you will have anything tonight or not, but it's yours if you'll have it."
I cannot begin to describe to you the smile that came upon this man's face, or the spirit that overflowed from him as he, with no hesitation, accepted that cup. To top it off, his friend already had a drink from a gas station nearby! Now they both had a drink of their own.
"No...", the man replied, "I should do the apologizing. It's been one of those days. I shouldn't have yelled at you...how long have you been playing that mandolin, or whatever it is?"
With a sigh of relief I said, "Around three years! It's a ukulele."
"I KNEW IT!", said the man's friend.
For the next ten minutes I was introduced to Bob and Rich, two guys that call the fountains of downtown Belleville, Illinois, their temporary home.
Bob has two sleeves of tattoos, both of which came from years in a penitentiary, and Rich is just a down-home kinda guy, full of knowledge about the life of the town. They both invited me to come and sing anytime I wanted, and gave me some tips as to when the best times to "catch the crowds" are. Apparently, Belleville has some good night life.
That night at work, I found out I had made a mistake about when the next pay day was, and I was receiving a check the next day! How's that for God providing? I am reminded of the first of the beatitudes we went through lat Wednesday night, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."
God wants to provide for us, but we have to let go of what we hold so tightly to before He can put something new in our hands. Lord, give me a humble spirit.
What is your story?
Get On With Your Point
1 Samuel 16:1-13
God asks of Samuel, a prophet, to anoint a new king to take Saul's place because Saul has become corrupt. At the ceremony, Jesse comes forward with his sons to be considered. Samuel stands by as seven of Jesse's sons pass to show off their looks and talents. Once the show is over, God has made it clear that none of them are to be chosen. Since God has already said the new king would be anointed out of Jesse's sons, Samuel asks Jesse if there is one he didn't bring to the ceremony.
David was the youngest and tended the farm animals of the family. He was a shepherd. Bringing him in from the field took time. It meant traveling all the way back home, on foot, searching for him in the fields, cleaning him up at least halfway decent, and making the trip back. He was not in the same shape as a war soldier and probably would never model for Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch.
When Jesse finally returns with David, God nudges Samuel and says, "He's the one."
I wonder how many times the thought passed through Samuel's head that he wished God would just get on with the point, especially right when he got the nudge that he was to anoint David. How often do we try to rush God's timing without considering what God wants us to learn from it, or what others around us are learning from watching us?
God asks of Samuel, a prophet, to anoint a new king to take Saul's place because Saul has become corrupt. At the ceremony, Jesse comes forward with his sons to be considered. Samuel stands by as seven of Jesse's sons pass to show off their looks and talents. Once the show is over, God has made it clear that none of them are to be chosen. Since God has already said the new king would be anointed out of Jesse's sons, Samuel asks Jesse if there is one he didn't bring to the ceremony.
David was the youngest and tended the farm animals of the family. He was a shepherd. Bringing him in from the field took time. It meant traveling all the way back home, on foot, searching for him in the fields, cleaning him up at least halfway decent, and making the trip back. He was not in the same shape as a war soldier and probably would never model for Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch.
When Jesse finally returns with David, God nudges Samuel and says, "He's the one."
I wonder how many times the thought passed through Samuel's head that he wished God would just get on with the point, especially right when he got the nudge that he was to anoint David. How often do we try to rush God's timing without considering what God wants us to learn from it, or what others around us are learning from watching us?
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
You Have A Story: Granite City Park
I did not get to do much singing today. A) because I have caught a flu, virus, cold, strep throat (hoping not for this one!) or something else. I have never known the difference in those, nor do I really think I'd comprehend any word of it if you tried to explain them to me. So we'll just go with "I'm sick", and B) I wrote a letter to the parents of our youth ministry today asking for their support and prayer as we go forward, then spent five hours selling shoes at Journeys for Kidz!
So back on track tomorrow!
Yesterday was interesting. I talked with a few friends this morning about these experiences, and I am just now getting to write them out for everyone to read. I sang at a picnic table, under a shelter, in the city park of Granite City. I had the perfect view of the tail end of a life-size model airplane.
I am definitely feeling more and more comfortable singing in outdoor public places, but I did realize one thing I have yet to overcome: interaction. There were probably around 30-40 youth and families that God brought across my path that night, two of which included a skateboarder and a biker that stopped to listen for a bit, but when moments come where people stop to listen I find myself playing a song longer hoping not to strike a conversation.
THAT IS NOT GOOD!
I really want to get to know peoples' stories! I want to hear testimonies, struggles, prayer requests, and have church in the middle of wherever it may be! I cannot do that if I'm constantly avoiding the interaction.
I hope to learn from this, but also act on that experience as well, in the hope to break my fear of small talk and catch the amazing fire God's Holy Spirit is trying to spread through His people!
So back on track tomorrow!
Yesterday was interesting. I talked with a few friends this morning about these experiences, and I am just now getting to write them out for everyone to read. I sang at a picnic table, under a shelter, in the city park of Granite City. I had the perfect view of the tail end of a life-size model airplane.
I am definitely feeling more and more comfortable singing in outdoor public places, but I did realize one thing I have yet to overcome: interaction. There were probably around 30-40 youth and families that God brought across my path that night, two of which included a skateboarder and a biker that stopped to listen for a bit, but when moments come where people stop to listen I find myself playing a song longer hoping not to strike a conversation.
THAT IS NOT GOOD!
I really want to get to know peoples' stories! I want to hear testimonies, struggles, prayer requests, and have church in the middle of wherever it may be! I cannot do that if I'm constantly avoiding the interaction.
I hope to learn from this, but also act on that experience as well, in the hope to break my fear of small talk and catch the amazing fire God's Holy Spirit is trying to spread through His people!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Investing Talents: St Louis, Forest Park Grand Basin
I have been extremely neglectful to my blog lately, and to my blog I apologize. So sorry blog. I totally have no intention on hurting your feelings.
Last week I started my daily challenge of choosing a different location every day to sing. Tuesday's adventure is highlighted in my previous post, check it or wreck it. Anyway, Wednesday was a work day for me and I ended up only having time to sing at the church before youth night. Thursday's rain prevented me from doing too much, but I was still able to practice in the church's fellowship hall. I know! I know! It was a fail attempt, but it helped me see I have to figure out how to go up against rainy days from now on.
Friday was cool. I decided the beautiful day was worthy of a day spent in Forest Park. After walking around the St Louis Zoo for some excersize, the Grand Basin felt fitting for a place to play music. The moment I sat down I was met by two smiling ladies. The fact that I cannot remember names is another hurdle I really need to have victory over, so I'll just do my best to describe them.
I was met first by an African American lady that had smile worth a thousand words. I want to say her name was Elaine, but I'm not certain. She was small in stature, but her spirit was overflowing. With her was her Voice Therapist, which I am fairly certain was named Laura. She was a much younger, lovely caucasian lady, and very quiet.
The one I'm calling Elaine asked me if I could sing her a song because she had just been given her certificate of graduation from her therapy course! It was a pleasure singing for her and congratulating her for her certificate. It was what happened after me singing that was the real joy; Elaine asked if she could share her voice and began singing A Capella a gospel song that completely blessed my socks off, which is hard to do because that day I was wearing "no shows", which are socks that wrap around your heel and toes and hide in your shoe. So for her to bless my socks off, they had to be pulled off of my feet and out from my Toms. Ok, so back to the story, her spirit that flowed from her soul really opened me up to have a blessed worship experience right there at the basin. We all have our stories, and Elaine will now be Investing her talent in a church choir, singing praises to our Lord! I am so humbled to be part of such a larger picture of the Body of Christ.
How are you investing the talent God has given you to care for?
Last week I started my daily challenge of choosing a different location every day to sing. Tuesday's adventure is highlighted in my previous post, check it or wreck it. Anyway, Wednesday was a work day for me and I ended up only having time to sing at the church before youth night. Thursday's rain prevented me from doing too much, but I was still able to practice in the church's fellowship hall. I know! I know! It was a fail attempt, but it helped me see I have to figure out how to go up against rainy days from now on.
Friday was cool. I decided the beautiful day was worthy of a day spent in Forest Park. After walking around the St Louis Zoo for some excersize, the Grand Basin felt fitting for a place to play music. The moment I sat down I was met by two smiling ladies. The fact that I cannot remember names is another hurdle I really need to have victory over, so I'll just do my best to describe them.
I was met first by an African American lady that had smile worth a thousand words. I want to say her name was Elaine, but I'm not certain. She was small in stature, but her spirit was overflowing. With her was her Voice Therapist, which I am fairly certain was named Laura. She was a much younger, lovely caucasian lady, and very quiet.
The one I'm calling Elaine asked me if I could sing her a song because she had just been given her certificate of graduation from her therapy course! It was a pleasure singing for her and congratulating her for her certificate. It was what happened after me singing that was the real joy; Elaine asked if she could share her voice and began singing A Capella a gospel song that completely blessed my socks off, which is hard to do because that day I was wearing "no shows", which are socks that wrap around your heel and toes and hide in your shoe. So for her to bless my socks off, they had to be pulled off of my feet and out from my Toms. Ok, so back to the story, her spirit that flowed from her soul really opened me up to have a blessed worship experience right there at the basin. We all have our stories, and Elaine will now be Investing her talent in a church choir, singing praises to our Lord! I am so humbled to be part of such a larger picture of the Body of Christ.
How are you investing the talent God has given you to care for?
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Long Acre Park, Fairview Heights, Illinois
Well, today starts a new phase for me. Being influenced and inspired by one of my teens in youth ministry, I've felt led to take on a new mission statement of following music where it leads me and live, breathe, and love to sing. Every day I will find a new place to sing and share the music God lays on my heart, and blog about my adventures here. I love for you all to be in on where I am led in this journey!
Today, I decided to start simple. I went to the park next to the church, and found a concrete box, with a water spicket rising from it, to sit on. As i started to play, the music felt really uncomfortable and I sang fairly quietly - I've never been one to feel like I was interrupting someone's privacy, peace, and quiet. It occurred to me as I sang that I should have the confidence to feel like the music that is on my heart can set anyone's mood in any environment, especially when it praises and glorifies God! Once I let down my barriers and discomfort, God opened the doors for sharing.
While singing my cover of "Reign In Us" by Starfield, a man named Steve came up to me carrying two or three really big cameras. Out of nowhere he stepped up to me between the picnic shelters! He introduced himself as a photographer and reporter for the Belleville News Democrat; the largest running paper for this area. He asked me some questions about why I was doing this and jotted down some qoutes, then asked permission to take some pictures while I continued to play. After about half an hour, we shook hands and thanked each other, and he let me know this story would most likely be in the paper in the next day or three!
I share this to say this; God does not call us to embarrass ourselves, He calls us to be excited about the relationship we have with Him and desire others to experience that closeness and Love too! We are created to worship Him, and He gives us talents to care for while He builds His Kingdom. How are you investing yours?
Today, I decided to start simple. I went to the park next to the church, and found a concrete box, with a water spicket rising from it, to sit on. As i started to play, the music felt really uncomfortable and I sang fairly quietly - I've never been one to feel like I was interrupting someone's privacy, peace, and quiet. It occurred to me as I sang that I should have the confidence to feel like the music that is on my heart can set anyone's mood in any environment, especially when it praises and glorifies God! Once I let down my barriers and discomfort, God opened the doors for sharing.
While singing my cover of "Reign In Us" by Starfield, a man named Steve came up to me carrying two or three really big cameras. Out of nowhere he stepped up to me between the picnic shelters! He introduced himself as a photographer and reporter for the Belleville News Democrat; the largest running paper for this area. He asked me some questions about why I was doing this and jotted down some qoutes, then asked permission to take some pictures while I continued to play. After about half an hour, we shook hands and thanked each other, and he let me know this story would most likely be in the paper in the next day or three!
I share this to say this; God does not call us to embarrass ourselves, He calls us to be excited about the relationship we have with Him and desire others to experience that closeness and Love too! We are created to worship Him, and He gives us talents to care for while He builds His Kingdom. How are you investing yours?
Friday, July 27, 2012
A Quiet Place
I really could use a quiet place right now but I literally have no privacy. I feel like i have no way out.
I passed several siderails along the road driving back to the city...and thought about driving off the road into them every time i passed one. That's where i am. I literally play those scenes out in my head everywhere I go. Music take my mind off of those thoughts and brings me to a different place, but I have been so active all week that right now i just want to lock myself in a room where no one is in my face about how Im doing. I feel like i have no way out.
My "style" has given me a sense of identity because i don't feel like i have one, and whatever identity i do have i don't know how to define it.
Many of you will probably respond to this by saying you have the answer: accepting a temporary job just to get me on stable feet financially, trusting in God through tough times, praying, reading the bible, become a "working man" because that's apparently what we are "suppose" to be.
Let me set that list straight. I work hard in everything I take on. God has allowed me to go through a ridiculous amount of personal experience so that I am no longer selfish with my actions because of laying it all completely on the altar in front of Him. I refuse to allow myself to fall short by doing exactly what sin chained us to: the CONSEQUENCE of our sin was to work and toil the land in hopes to feel successful. God frees us of our sin and shapes us into His freedom. He brings us back to our original intended purpose; to Love Him, worship Him, and be the caretakers of His beautiful creation.
Are each of us the same type of care taker? No. Adam invested his time and energy into caring for a garden of Eden, where life flowed through and provided nourishment for everything in it. His task was to be creative with the garden and everything in it, for the purpose of it also being a worship to God. He named the animals according to how he could glorify God by how they were created by His hands. He was given a companion to support him in those efforts and provide her creativity in this investment as well.
It amazes me how much we continue to feel like we are dependent on our own power rather than what God provides us, and that truth is soooooooooooo hard to handle.
Now you all know the real me.
Through so much prayer and meditation many will never know the time invested, God has pointed in the direction of finishing my bachelor's degree and attaining it through Greenville College with a Music Business Concentration, serving in music ministry, and being an encourager for others to find places to invest their talents for the glory of God. I am so blessed to have the opportunity of witnessing others finding true joy and peace in the use of what God has given them to serve with.
I need that from others too.
Yet, although the world says one thing, and it begins crushing me with it's opposing direction to God's, I will praise Him! For He saves me from the deepest shadows of darkness. When my mind races with ways to put my own end to the monotonous struggles of this earthly life, my Father in Heaven reminds me of the glory of the power He has to pull me out of that miry pit and keeps my head above it so I can breath. It gets close sometimes, especially when what I am suppose to be able to trust in the most, here on earth, fails me, but my hand is in God's; the Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the End, Omnipotent Ruler, King of all the other kings of earth! In Him there is the promise of a complete future!
I witnessed as child after child stepped forward on their own this week at Children's Camp, with no prodding before-hand, to praise God by telling others their age (grades 2-6) to stand strong and live for Jesus no matter what the cost; no matter what their circumstances are when they get home from camp, no matter how much hope the world takes away from them, to stand. I am 26 and I do face the feelings of being a failure, but when I see children being this strong, how can I stay faint? It is in my weakness that God has the opportunity to show His strength!
This blogpost started out as a venting, and again a thanks for God providing ways to unclutter my mind of all the damaging thoughts that run through it, but it ends with me giving a reminder and a worship to the One who gives me life.
IN CHRIST THERE IS HOPE ETERNAL.
I passed several siderails along the road driving back to the city...and thought about driving off the road into them every time i passed one. That's where i am. I literally play those scenes out in my head everywhere I go. Music take my mind off of those thoughts and brings me to a different place, but I have been so active all week that right now i just want to lock myself in a room where no one is in my face about how Im doing. I feel like i have no way out.
My "style" has given me a sense of identity because i don't feel like i have one, and whatever identity i do have i don't know how to define it.
Many of you will probably respond to this by saying you have the answer: accepting a temporary job just to get me on stable feet financially, trusting in God through tough times, praying, reading the bible, become a "working man" because that's apparently what we are "suppose" to be.
Let me set that list straight. I work hard in everything I take on. God has allowed me to go through a ridiculous amount of personal experience so that I am no longer selfish with my actions because of laying it all completely on the altar in front of Him. I refuse to allow myself to fall short by doing exactly what sin chained us to: the CONSEQUENCE of our sin was to work and toil the land in hopes to feel successful. God frees us of our sin and shapes us into His freedom. He brings us back to our original intended purpose; to Love Him, worship Him, and be the caretakers of His beautiful creation.
Are each of us the same type of care taker? No. Adam invested his time and energy into caring for a garden of Eden, where life flowed through and provided nourishment for everything in it. His task was to be creative with the garden and everything in it, for the purpose of it also being a worship to God. He named the animals according to how he could glorify God by how they were created by His hands. He was given a companion to support him in those efforts and provide her creativity in this investment as well.
It amazes me how much we continue to feel like we are dependent on our own power rather than what God provides us, and that truth is soooooooooooo hard to handle.
Now you all know the real me.
Through so much prayer and meditation many will never know the time invested, God has pointed in the direction of finishing my bachelor's degree and attaining it through Greenville College with a Music Business Concentration, serving in music ministry, and being an encourager for others to find places to invest their talents for the glory of God. I am so blessed to have the opportunity of witnessing others finding true joy and peace in the use of what God has given them to serve with.
I need that from others too.
Yet, although the world says one thing, and it begins crushing me with it's opposing direction to God's, I will praise Him! For He saves me from the deepest shadows of darkness. When my mind races with ways to put my own end to the monotonous struggles of this earthly life, my Father in Heaven reminds me of the glory of the power He has to pull me out of that miry pit and keeps my head above it so I can breath. It gets close sometimes, especially when what I am suppose to be able to trust in the most, here on earth, fails me, but my hand is in God's; the Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the End, Omnipotent Ruler, King of all the other kings of earth! In Him there is the promise of a complete future!
I witnessed as child after child stepped forward on their own this week at Children's Camp, with no prodding before-hand, to praise God by telling others their age (grades 2-6) to stand strong and live for Jesus no matter what the cost; no matter what their circumstances are when they get home from camp, no matter how much hope the world takes away from them, to stand. I am 26 and I do face the feelings of being a failure, but when I see children being this strong, how can I stay faint? It is in my weakness that God has the opportunity to show His strength!
This blogpost started out as a venting, and again a thanks for God providing ways to unclutter my mind of all the damaging thoughts that run through it, but it ends with me giving a reminder and a worship to the One who gives me life.
IN CHRIST THERE IS HOPE ETERNAL.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Routine Maintenance
We get into this daily routine of making sure our schedules are constantly filled with doing something so we always feel productive.
I have been realizing that I have these really cool long term dreams that I would love see become a reality, but instead of placing goals as stepping stones toward that dream I end up focusing on the insignificant "gnats" so that, by the end of the day, I can feel good about "how much I've done". When it comes down to it, is how much I've done more important, or how much I've accomplished?
When I glance back on my past 26 years, I find how time has shaped me into who I've become. I don't see the Breadbowl of Baked Potato soup I had from St Louis Bread Company, how far buying that pair of shorts from Hollister got me, or the B i got on my math test in high school when it could have been an A+. That makes me think; twenty years from now, how significant will the choices I am making now be?
That kind of adds a different perspective to my daily routine.
I have been realizing that I have these really cool long term dreams that I would love see become a reality, but instead of placing goals as stepping stones toward that dream I end up focusing on the insignificant "gnats" so that, by the end of the day, I can feel good about "how much I've done". When it comes down to it, is how much I've done more important, or how much I've accomplished?
When I glance back on my past 26 years, I find how time has shaped me into who I've become. I don't see the Breadbowl of Baked Potato soup I had from St Louis Bread Company, how far buying that pair of shorts from Hollister got me, or the B i got on my math test in high school when it could have been an A+. That makes me think; twenty years from now, how significant will the choices I am making now be?
That kind of adds a different perspective to my daily routine.
Mirrors
We are our own worst critics. When I listen to the recordings of my music, I cringe at every flaw and what I hear as a mistake. Yet, when others listen, it feels funny to hear them say things like, "Wow! I love it!". The same goes for giving messages, finishing drawings, and even the response I get from the firmness of my handshake.
The world tells us the image of ourselves in the mirror is most important, so we stand in front of one every morning and work on the image we see until we no longer see any flaws, or at least get rid of as many as we can. We spend countless hours changing clothes till we find the right outfit for the day, hairstyles that show off how we feel, and of course facial hygiene/make-up till all of our blemishes are hidden from sight. The mirror tells us when we are ready to go for the day.
And this is our routine. Every day.
What if the real mirror is in the eyes of others? What if the reason God gave us the responsibility to "Go into the world with the message of God's Love" is because He knew how important we are to each other? The issue we have with that, I think, is that we tend to be judgmental of each other and that keeps us from feeling like we can gather any hope from how others view us. It's amazing how sin attempts to block us from the rewards of God's Kingdom.
Try this:
•Instead of listening for how others criticize you, pay close attention to the good that others see in you. Watch for what others point out about you that you couldn't see in the microscope of your own eyes. It is impossible for us to back away for an arial shot of how we look and influence, we need the perspective from others.
• instead of being the one dishing out the criticism, be the one that gives positive encouragement and the eyes for what others cannot see of themselves. It is easy for us to believe that we are helping others by "warning" them about their flaws and imperfections, but we forget that they are already busy picking themselves apart with the mirror they carry around everywhere they go, and it feels good to focus on their issues so that we can feel like we are taking a break from our own.
God created us and saw the mix He used formed a need for companionship. We are designed to encourage one another and affirm each others strengths. What kind of companion are you?
The world tells us the image of ourselves in the mirror is most important, so we stand in front of one every morning and work on the image we see until we no longer see any flaws, or at least get rid of as many as we can. We spend countless hours changing clothes till we find the right outfit for the day, hairstyles that show off how we feel, and of course facial hygiene/make-up till all of our blemishes are hidden from sight. The mirror tells us when we are ready to go for the day.
And this is our routine. Every day.
What if the real mirror is in the eyes of others? What if the reason God gave us the responsibility to "Go into the world with the message of God's Love" is because He knew how important we are to each other? The issue we have with that, I think, is that we tend to be judgmental of each other and that keeps us from feeling like we can gather any hope from how others view us. It's amazing how sin attempts to block us from the rewards of God's Kingdom.
Try this:
•Instead of listening for how others criticize you, pay close attention to the good that others see in you. Watch for what others point out about you that you couldn't see in the microscope of your own eyes. It is impossible for us to back away for an arial shot of how we look and influence, we need the perspective from others.
• instead of being the one dishing out the criticism, be the one that gives positive encouragement and the eyes for what others cannot see of themselves. It is easy for us to believe that we are helping others by "warning" them about their flaws and imperfections, but we forget that they are already busy picking themselves apart with the mirror they carry around everywhere they go, and it feels good to focus on their issues so that we can feel like we are taking a break from our own.
God created us and saw the mix He used formed a need for companionship. We are designed to encourage one another and affirm each others strengths. What kind of companion are you?
Friday, July 20, 2012
New Addition to the Family: Yamaha Electone
Yesterday was a busy day! I was asked a while back if I would be interested in the organ my grandfather use to have. For those that know my love for unique instrument I do not need to describe how speechless I was to be thought of to take care of it!
I met up, at Lebanon, Illinois, with my Dad and Everett, a guy from my parents' church, to make the drive up to Springfield to load the organ up in a U-Haul trailer my father rented for the trip....at 6:00AM. I live in Granite City, which is a good 40 minute drive away from the meeting spot. That meant I had to get up at 4:30AM to make sure I was showered and ready to go for the day.
I can say to you right now that I have barely known 4:30AM to exist.
The ride was fun and we got to visit with my Aunt Luella and Uncle Owen who had been taking care of the organ since Grandpa Sprinkle passed away around 5 years ago. I love every opportunity to see my extended family!
While we were there, I got to see my Cousin Chris, his youngest son, and my Cousin Kerri too! It is such a blessing to see them.
It took me, my Dad, Everett, Owen, and a piece of cardboard to load e Yamaha organ into the trailer; the cardboard saved many lives. The whole ride to Mom and Dad's house, two and a half hours away, I was literally praying the organ was riding safely over every bump and squiggle in the road. I was thankful we were able to stop halfway to check on its condition and ease my mind.
I am so excited to have a Yamaha Electone in my collection! It's in beautiful original condition and sounds like a crazy dream, and the excitement to include it in a future song is building quickly!
I met up, at Lebanon, Illinois, with my Dad and Everett, a guy from my parents' church, to make the drive up to Springfield to load the organ up in a U-Haul trailer my father rented for the trip....at 6:00AM. I live in Granite City, which is a good 40 minute drive away from the meeting spot. That meant I had to get up at 4:30AM to make sure I was showered and ready to go for the day.
I can say to you right now that I have barely known 4:30AM to exist.
The ride was fun and we got to visit with my Aunt Luella and Uncle Owen who had been taking care of the organ since Grandpa Sprinkle passed away around 5 years ago. I love every opportunity to see my extended family!
While we were there, I got to see my Cousin Chris, his youngest son, and my Cousin Kerri too! It is such a blessing to see them.
It took me, my Dad, Everett, Owen, and a piece of cardboard to load e Yamaha organ into the trailer; the cardboard saved many lives. The whole ride to Mom and Dad's house, two and a half hours away, I was literally praying the organ was riding safely over every bump and squiggle in the road. I was thankful we were able to stop halfway to check on its condition and ease my mind.
I am so excited to have a Yamaha Electone in my collection! It's in beautiful original condition and sounds like a crazy dream, and the excitement to include it in a future song is building quickly!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Flashlight Tag and Church
Time for a blog filled with awesomeness! Yesterday, while I was working at Journeys for Kidz, I get a text from one of my teens.
"We should get everyone together at the park and play flashlight tag tonight!"
I responded.
"Sounds fun! Put it together and I'll be there! Btw, I'm at work."
In less than a half an hour her an her friend came into the store to say hi and again ask if we could get everyone together for tag. I reminded her she didn't have to ask for permission to invite people to hang out in a public park. They both left excited and the result leads to this writing.
I arrive at the park around 8:30 and wait for a good half an hour, starting to wonder if I had come for a no show. My phone rings and it's the girl asking where I am because she ended up parking at the church to walk over (since the church sits next to the park the convenience is perfect!).
I am sitting at a picnic table being eaten alive by the most ferociously annoying insects imaginable when from the shadows of dark trees I hear the voices of teenage girls in the distance. That is a scary sound in itself, but I am sure my silhouette walking toward them, wearing my new "gangsta" hat - as some have come to name it, alone in the dark of night, was not a comforting image. Thank goodness for lighted bathhouses to stand next to!
To my surprise, eight teenagers had come to hang out! Then another car arrived and three more boys joined us. Then another call came, which turned out to add one more guy to the bunch, giving us a total of 13 to play flashlight tag.
We played one round, and then chatted for a while before a couple of us decided we could go over to the sand volleyball courts and ask if we could join in with some of the people already playing there. After letting us join, it did not take long to discover that most of us were not professionals. It also did not take long to realize that their language was a bit more colorful than ours. Some of our own did not claim to have the best relationship going with God, but for the ones that are growing in their faith it made me proud to see a bunch of teenagers being mirror images of Christ out there in a public park!
By the middle of the night, two more of our teens' friends showed up, making 15 all together!
After a few rounds of sand volleyball, the group of 12 we had joined invited us to play a few rounds of Capture the Flag, aka t-shirts. By the time it was time for our teens to head home, I felt like the Sandman from the Marvel comics and Toby Mcguire Spiderman movie. It was worth every second!
I say this story because of the many testimonies included. Because of one teen:
• 27 people under the age of 27 had joined together for an evening of fellowship.
• Growing Christian teens naturally we God's hands and feet in a public world, evangelizing, without even realizing it, to their friends and others that do not yet know what a relationship with Christ has to offer.
• Christian teens ministered by being Spiritual Leaders with their language, sportsman-like conduct, acceptance of all who came to participate, and talked about Christian values throughout the night through natural conversation.
• We worshiped our Creator by using the gifts and talents He has given us and celebrating the gifts and talents of others through encouragement and praise.
What a great picture of the Church!
"We should get everyone together at the park and play flashlight tag tonight!"
I responded.
"Sounds fun! Put it together and I'll be there! Btw, I'm at work."
In less than a half an hour her an her friend came into the store to say hi and again ask if we could get everyone together for tag. I reminded her she didn't have to ask for permission to invite people to hang out in a public park. They both left excited and the result leads to this writing.
I arrive at the park around 8:30 and wait for a good half an hour, starting to wonder if I had come for a no show. My phone rings and it's the girl asking where I am because she ended up parking at the church to walk over (since the church sits next to the park the convenience is perfect!).
I am sitting at a picnic table being eaten alive by the most ferociously annoying insects imaginable when from the shadows of dark trees I hear the voices of teenage girls in the distance. That is a scary sound in itself, but I am sure my silhouette walking toward them, wearing my new "gangsta" hat - as some have come to name it, alone in the dark of night, was not a comforting image. Thank goodness for lighted bathhouses to stand next to!
To my surprise, eight teenagers had come to hang out! Then another car arrived and three more boys joined us. Then another call came, which turned out to add one more guy to the bunch, giving us a total of 13 to play flashlight tag.
We played one round, and then chatted for a while before a couple of us decided we could go over to the sand volleyball courts and ask if we could join in with some of the people already playing there. After letting us join, it did not take long to discover that most of us were not professionals. It also did not take long to realize that their language was a bit more colorful than ours. Some of our own did not claim to have the best relationship going with God, but for the ones that are growing in their faith it made me proud to see a bunch of teenagers being mirror images of Christ out there in a public park!
By the middle of the night, two more of our teens' friends showed up, making 15 all together!
After a few rounds of sand volleyball, the group of 12 we had joined invited us to play a few rounds of Capture the Flag, aka t-shirts. By the time it was time for our teens to head home, I felt like the Sandman from the Marvel comics and Toby Mcguire Spiderman movie. It was worth every second!
I say this story because of the many testimonies included. Because of one teen:
• 27 people under the age of 27 had joined together for an evening of fellowship.
• Growing Christian teens naturally we God's hands and feet in a public world, evangelizing, without even realizing it, to their friends and others that do not yet know what a relationship with Christ has to offer.
• Christian teens ministered by being Spiritual Leaders with their language, sportsman-like conduct, acceptance of all who came to participate, and talked about Christian values throughout the night through natural conversation.
• We worshiped our Creator by using the gifts and talents He has given us and celebrating the gifts and talents of others through encouragement and praise.
What a great picture of the Church!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Stagnant Water
Last week I had the privilege of attending our Nazarene Church's Illinois District Assembly. This is where all the church leadership teams come together from in our district, which covers from the southern-most tip of Illinois to an imaginary "boundary" line somewhere almost horizontally above Springfield - if you would like to create that mental image in your head. I love this concept because it allows us to hear how people are serving in the many cultures and diversity that make up the Body of Christ. It is encouraging to hear reports of how local churches are making waves of connecting with their communities and sharing testimonies of how God's Family has been growing or, in the case of the recent reports, declining in the past few years.
That was the bad news - churches are declining - and not just one or two! The majority of our churches have been showing a decrease every year, and if nothing else staying the same; as I refer to as "stagnant".
The churches that continue to grow are the ones that treat their church center as more of a place where the people have available to come together for a kind of celebration of life with Christ, as opposed to being the "one Holy Place where we must attend to meet God". See, the issue is that Christ lived to show us that we were created to have a RELATIONSHIP with God, our Creator, rather than be shuffled around as depicted in the original "Planet of the Apes" - where a big siren goes off that hypnotizes all humans to walk to a certain place and bow to a bunch of wild animals that have taken over their earth. But even in this relationship, we must not forget His majesty, grace, power, Lordship, and authority.
The way I view this is kind of like how I eat at the dinner table with my family. At the table sits me, my sister, her husband and their two daughters, my mom, and my dad. We do not spend the entire meal with our heads down, waiting for the next command our parents have to give us - instead we sit around and talk about how everyone broke out their instruments and started singing at the last family reunion, the Cardinals beating the Cubs so severally that they should have PETA called on them, and how, "back in the day", one of us had to visit a public restroom and a flatulent turned into more of an explosion they decided to leave as a gift for the next guess. But if mom and dad asks one of us to pray, help clean dishes, or remove our elbows off the table, we would never refer to them as being on the same level as us, and absolutely would we never consider them lower in position. We would immediately listen to their call and respect what they had to say.
God gives us this awe-inspiring opportunity to pull up a seat at His banquet table, talk about our every day lives, share food with each other and pass the plate of desert around for all to enjoy to the fullest extent of our satisfaction, but He also has the ability to take our breath away in one split of a second, or split apart the atoms that make us so our bodies disappear into oblivion. He also has the strength to hold us together as broken vessels, while forming us into an even more beautiful masterpiece! Before that kind of authority, how could we not humbly bow in respect? And yet He is so Loving He wants to spend time with us and share with us in our daily lives, work schedules, family bonding, and practical jokes. He wants to be at the center of it all!
What struck me with utmost sadness was the response our General Superintendent received when he asked the assembly if they would be a part of bringing their local church into the current century, look for ways to encourage and lend a hand in supporting their pastor and family, offer maintenance to their home if needed, and keep their church from being stagnant. The overall response was an overwhelming "eh", with a handful of "amen"'s mixed in.
He asked a second time, but this time giving the assembly the benefit of the doubt by suggesting maybe there was commotion and couldn't hear the response very well, asked us to raise our hands if we would agree to the support of our church and pastor; a handful of hands were lifted, barely visible in the clouded stench of a community of believers that does not seem to care.
A third time our General Superintendent made his appeal - this time asking for us to stand in agreement - and laughter struck the room as a mere 1/3 of the people grudgingly rose to their feet.
I apologize for any harsh words I may have chosen to describe that event, but then again I don't. The truth hurts, and this is one moment when we as the Body of Christ should be ashamed. How can we sit back and watch as our churches, no matter how they are organized - wether it be a fellowship in an organized setting, an institution made up of boards and committees or staff members, or moving organically on our streets - slump into a pool of stagnant water? The stench is unbearable, and we wonder why no one is attracted to come for a quench of their thirst!
"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - quoted from Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, who gave His life so that we may have freedom from our sins and live eternally, adopted into God's Holy Family.
Why are we trying to offer stagnant water when our Father has so much more to offer?
When I walk through the food court of our mall, I am offered a barrage of food samples from companies that are promoting what they have to offer as the best choice to make. It makes me consider what I do with what God offers - He even hands us abundant plates of it to hand out! We are faced with choices:
• Pitch the plate into the garbage
• Stand there with the plate and partake of it, all for ourselves, before anyone has a chance to enjoy even a fallen crumb
• Hold the plate, with a lack of excitement, complaining of how no one takes it upon themselves to even go for one bite
• Desire everyone experiences what God has to offer, to the extent we do everything we can not to miss one opportunity, and take the plate to anyone we can find to share it with
Am I holding onto my own stagnant water, or am I eager to share the Living Water of Life to build the Kingdom and bring more into the adoption of the Family of God? What do out churches say about our relationship to our Father in Heaven?
That was the bad news - churches are declining - and not just one or two! The majority of our churches have been showing a decrease every year, and if nothing else staying the same; as I refer to as "stagnant".
The churches that continue to grow are the ones that treat their church center as more of a place where the people have available to come together for a kind of celebration of life with Christ, as opposed to being the "one Holy Place where we must attend to meet God". See, the issue is that Christ lived to show us that we were created to have a RELATIONSHIP with God, our Creator, rather than be shuffled around as depicted in the original "Planet of the Apes" - where a big siren goes off that hypnotizes all humans to walk to a certain place and bow to a bunch of wild animals that have taken over their earth. But even in this relationship, we must not forget His majesty, grace, power, Lordship, and authority.
The way I view this is kind of like how I eat at the dinner table with my family. At the table sits me, my sister, her husband and their two daughters, my mom, and my dad. We do not spend the entire meal with our heads down, waiting for the next command our parents have to give us - instead we sit around and talk about how everyone broke out their instruments and started singing at the last family reunion, the Cardinals beating the Cubs so severally that they should have PETA called on them, and how, "back in the day", one of us had to visit a public restroom and a flatulent turned into more of an explosion they decided to leave as a gift for the next guess. But if mom and dad asks one of us to pray, help clean dishes, or remove our elbows off the table, we would never refer to them as being on the same level as us, and absolutely would we never consider them lower in position. We would immediately listen to their call and respect what they had to say.
God gives us this awe-inspiring opportunity to pull up a seat at His banquet table, talk about our every day lives, share food with each other and pass the plate of desert around for all to enjoy to the fullest extent of our satisfaction, but He also has the ability to take our breath away in one split of a second, or split apart the atoms that make us so our bodies disappear into oblivion. He also has the strength to hold us together as broken vessels, while forming us into an even more beautiful masterpiece! Before that kind of authority, how could we not humbly bow in respect? And yet He is so Loving He wants to spend time with us and share with us in our daily lives, work schedules, family bonding, and practical jokes. He wants to be at the center of it all!
What struck me with utmost sadness was the response our General Superintendent received when he asked the assembly if they would be a part of bringing their local church into the current century, look for ways to encourage and lend a hand in supporting their pastor and family, offer maintenance to their home if needed, and keep their church from being stagnant. The overall response was an overwhelming "eh", with a handful of "amen"'s mixed in.
He asked a second time, but this time giving the assembly the benefit of the doubt by suggesting maybe there was commotion and couldn't hear the response very well, asked us to raise our hands if we would agree to the support of our church and pastor; a handful of hands were lifted, barely visible in the clouded stench of a community of believers that does not seem to care.
A third time our General Superintendent made his appeal - this time asking for us to stand in agreement - and laughter struck the room as a mere 1/3 of the people grudgingly rose to their feet.
I apologize for any harsh words I may have chosen to describe that event, but then again I don't. The truth hurts, and this is one moment when we as the Body of Christ should be ashamed. How can we sit back and watch as our churches, no matter how they are organized - wether it be a fellowship in an organized setting, an institution made up of boards and committees or staff members, or moving organically on our streets - slump into a pool of stagnant water? The stench is unbearable, and we wonder why no one is attracted to come for a quench of their thirst!
"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - quoted from Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, who gave His life so that we may have freedom from our sins and live eternally, adopted into God's Holy Family.
Why are we trying to offer stagnant water when our Father has so much more to offer?
When I walk through the food court of our mall, I am offered a barrage of food samples from companies that are promoting what they have to offer as the best choice to make. It makes me consider what I do with what God offers - He even hands us abundant plates of it to hand out! We are faced with choices:
• Pitch the plate into the garbage
• Stand there with the plate and partake of it, all for ourselves, before anyone has a chance to enjoy even a fallen crumb
• Hold the plate, with a lack of excitement, complaining of how no one takes it upon themselves to even go for one bite
• Desire everyone experiences what God has to offer, to the extent we do everything we can not to miss one opportunity, and take the plate to anyone we can find to share it with
Am I holding onto my own stagnant water, or am I eager to share the Living Water of Life to build the Kingdom and bring more into the adoption of the Family of God? What do out churches say about our relationship to our Father in Heaven?
Monday, July 16, 2012
30 Hour Famine: Saturday, Day 2
If the Friday wasn't packed full of changing lives, Saturday was where the Spirit of God really took over during our 30 Hour Famine! Last weekend was filled with games and opportunities for teens to learn about ways they could start thinking of helping organizations like World Vision and Nazarene Compassionate Ministries reach the lives of thousands by teaching new methods of farming even where there is drought, distilling water for clean drinking, preventing diseases like Malaria, getting children into educational systems to help grow a brighter future, and more! But what about where we live? Are we to sit back and donate to oversea missions while we drive by hundreds of homeless and impoverished neighbors in our own communities?
We teamed up with St. Peter's Methodist Church and Jesus Place Ministries of Granite City, Illinois, to place 20 teens into areas of volunteer service. Saturday morning, St. Peter's Methodist's Soup Kitchen was filled with orange shirts. By this time, these participants had already gone a maximum of 25 hours without food yet, with excitement, volunteered to stand in the kitchen making eggs, pancakes, toast, and sausage and serving people at their seats for two hours! The aroma of food filled the room, and the conversations went from "I can't believe they're making us do this", "I will probably eat some of this food before it's over", to "where else can I help?", "Can I take your place behind the oven while you take a break?", "Are you and your family enjoying breakfast this morning, what else can I get for you to make this more enjoyable?".
After serving these guests for two hours we were taken to the Jesus Place Ministries Soup Kitchen and Worship Center. It wasn't in service at the time, but our participants got a tour of a smaller scale ministry that still did just as much to serve as many as they could. Then we got together in the worship center and listened to a testimony from one of the guyst that helped arrange the service projects, and I gave a small message about our many ways we show worship to God; serving others being one of them. What was most encouraging was the entire group circling together for a time of prayer, where each one of us took turns leading, thanking God for the opportunity to serve Him and asking for hearts to serve others instead of focusing so much on ourselves!
After that time of worship, we were led to the Free Store. Granite City's former automotive manufacturing plant now has been converted into a warehouse where anyone can donate anything from coffee mugs, food, and clothes, to furniture and bicycles. The best part is, people that shop at the Free Store are not there to buy anything, because everything is literally given away for free! This is a place where the needs are really being met without the concern of making a profit off of others' misfortunes. It was a blessing to see our teens volunteering on their own to help organize and move large furniture pieces and whatever else they could help with in the short time we were there for the tour.
When we returned to the church, we had about an hour before it was time to break our fast. This time was spent either picking up trash, packing luggage, or sleeping - depending on how crashed each participant was. Several chaperones helped make spaghetti and rolls, while I put together a simple recipe called "Re:Vive"; consisting of peanut butter, powdered milk, a hint of powdered sugar, and a dash of vegetable oil. Organizations like World Vision gives a similar nutritional package out to individuals who have gone days and weeks without the proper food, helping to build up their stomaches to accept more dense or acidic foods such as spaghetti and fruit.
The conversation and words from participants changed dramatically over the course of this event. Everyone was helping each other with packing, picking up trash, and even coming into the kitchen asking us if they could help with washing dishes or mixing ingredients. In the scope of 24 hours, 30 people went from being self-engaged to community building.
We can make a difference.
Because of this change, I have been asked about making this a district event next year; an opportunity I am deeply humbled and sincerely excited about!
We teamed up with St. Peter's Methodist Church and Jesus Place Ministries of Granite City, Illinois, to place 20 teens into areas of volunteer service. Saturday morning, St. Peter's Methodist's Soup Kitchen was filled with orange shirts. By this time, these participants had already gone a maximum of 25 hours without food yet, with excitement, volunteered to stand in the kitchen making eggs, pancakes, toast, and sausage and serving people at their seats for two hours! The aroma of food filled the room, and the conversations went from "I can't believe they're making us do this", "I will probably eat some of this food before it's over", to "where else can I help?", "Can I take your place behind the oven while you take a break?", "Are you and your family enjoying breakfast this morning, what else can I get for you to make this more enjoyable?".
After serving these guests for two hours we were taken to the Jesus Place Ministries Soup Kitchen and Worship Center. It wasn't in service at the time, but our participants got a tour of a smaller scale ministry that still did just as much to serve as many as they could. Then we got together in the worship center and listened to a testimony from one of the guyst that helped arrange the service projects, and I gave a small message about our many ways we show worship to God; serving others being one of them. What was most encouraging was the entire group circling together for a time of prayer, where each one of us took turns leading, thanking God for the opportunity to serve Him and asking for hearts to serve others instead of focusing so much on ourselves!
After that time of worship, we were led to the Free Store. Granite City's former automotive manufacturing plant now has been converted into a warehouse where anyone can donate anything from coffee mugs, food, and clothes, to furniture and bicycles. The best part is, people that shop at the Free Store are not there to buy anything, because everything is literally given away for free! This is a place where the needs are really being met without the concern of making a profit off of others' misfortunes. It was a blessing to see our teens volunteering on their own to help organize and move large furniture pieces and whatever else they could help with in the short time we were there for the tour.
When we returned to the church, we had about an hour before it was time to break our fast. This time was spent either picking up trash, packing luggage, or sleeping - depending on how crashed each participant was. Several chaperones helped make spaghetti and rolls, while I put together a simple recipe called "Re:Vive"; consisting of peanut butter, powdered milk, a hint of powdered sugar, and a dash of vegetable oil. Organizations like World Vision gives a similar nutritional package out to individuals who have gone days and weeks without the proper food, helping to build up their stomaches to accept more dense or acidic foods such as spaghetti and fruit.
The conversation and words from participants changed dramatically over the course of this event. Everyone was helping each other with packing, picking up trash, and even coming into the kitchen asking us if they could help with washing dishes or mixing ingredients. In the scope of 24 hours, 30 people went from being self-engaged to community building.
We can make a difference.
Because of this change, I have been asked about making this a district event next year; an opportunity I am deeply humbled and sincerely excited about!
30 Hour Famine: Friday, Day 1
This is way overdue, but this past week has just been full of ups and downs and I am finally able to flush it all out into my blogger! (that sounds gross)
Last weekend, three churches combined together in an effort called the 30 Hour Famine. World Vision and Nazarene Compassionate Ministries are the organizations the proceeds from the event goes to. The Famine is basically a weekend where participants agree to go a mere 30 hours without eating; A) to get a small feel for how those suffering with hunger and malnutrition feel on a daily basis, and B) to raise awareness and help fund causes like World Vision's mission teams that go to impoverished places and help start educational systems and give small loans to help with small business ventures; such as farming in areas with drought.
It has been an honor hosting this event for the past four years, and this year we got to combine with two other churches, one of which traveled two hours to participate! Each year we held fundraisers that built up to the event, but since this was a first for the other churches, we focused primarily on how to build the excitement and awareness for the potential to do more next year, and God worked through the hearts of His Church! Over 20 teens came for the weekend, and more than five adults showed up to help chaperone and volunteer!
To kickstart the event, we had the participants tell us why they decided going 30 hours without eating for an entire weekend would be a good idea. (Keep in mind they were to start their own personal fast at 7am, and the event didn't start until 1pm, so most of these teens had already been going since supper the night before simply because waking up before 7:00 is just too early to experience daylight.) their answers ranged from "my friend invited me" to "I just wanted something to do this weekend". We heard a LOT of "I'm already starving", "I may go home early", "I hope you have enough r for me!", "There better be Gatorade", and "I hope I don't get bored"; the focus started out completely focused on the individual self.
World Vision puts together a very cool game every year, called "Tribe". It could easily be compared to the National reality TV show "Survivor". What's another Spirit motivated side to this game is that each challenge includes a time of devotion and reflexion on how it compares to one of God's promises in His Word; the Bible. This year, teens went through a True/False round to determine "Tribal Leaders" and learned fast facts about how hunger effects more than just the stomach, but also causes loss of education and lack of income for families. Participants were then numbered off and placed in Tribes; Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Zambia, Uganda, and Bolivia. Each participant received a card with the identity of a child and had to take on their lifestyle through the challenges; such as blindness, loss of a limb, weakness from hunger or Malaria, or being mute. We had heavy backpacks, sunglasses, duct tape, gloves, and earplugs to make these characteristics more real.
Tribes went through the same challenges actual people go through in the villages they represented: working together to keep other tribes from stealing what little food they had (garbage bags filled with rice and binder clipped to their pockets/belt loops), find food through droughts (balloons filled with food items written on strips of paper), use anything they could to gather water (ladles, cups, milk cartons, buckets that dumped into a kiddie pool), prevent mosquitos from spreading diseases like Malaria (finding pieces of a flashlight and putting them together, then shining it through a bed sheet that represented a bed net), and make it safely across a flood (using items from their overnight packing to get across from one end of a gymnasium to the other).
In the midst of all this fun and excitement we do a candle vigil in memory of the lives of children under the age of five that are lost due to hunger and malnutrition. Because of the help from organizations like World Vision and NCM, the numbers have dropped. Instead of one child dying every 7 seconds, one is lost every 12 seconds. That is still a number that should strike us all as troubling, considering there is enough food in the entire world that, if it were evenly distributed to every person, each one of us would have 4.5 pounds to eat per day. So me and three other chaperones took turns blowing out one candle every 12 seconds to represent a life lost to this preventable cause of death. By the time the last candle is left standing, the image really shows us how important the "light" from one life truly is. This message started spreading throughout the night and really helped begin a new focus on working together and encouraging one another, not only in surviving, but growing as God's Church as well.
We spent the rest of the day playing volleyball and making t-shirts.
Last weekend, three churches combined together in an effort called the 30 Hour Famine. World Vision and Nazarene Compassionate Ministries are the organizations the proceeds from the event goes to. The Famine is basically a weekend where participants agree to go a mere 30 hours without eating; A) to get a small feel for how those suffering with hunger and malnutrition feel on a daily basis, and B) to raise awareness and help fund causes like World Vision's mission teams that go to impoverished places and help start educational systems and give small loans to help with small business ventures; such as farming in areas with drought.
It has been an honor hosting this event for the past four years, and this year we got to combine with two other churches, one of which traveled two hours to participate! Each year we held fundraisers that built up to the event, but since this was a first for the other churches, we focused primarily on how to build the excitement and awareness for the potential to do more next year, and God worked through the hearts of His Church! Over 20 teens came for the weekend, and more than five adults showed up to help chaperone and volunteer!
To kickstart the event, we had the participants tell us why they decided going 30 hours without eating for an entire weekend would be a good idea. (Keep in mind they were to start their own personal fast at 7am, and the event didn't start until 1pm, so most of these teens had already been going since supper the night before simply because waking up before 7:00 is just too early to experience daylight.) their answers ranged from "my friend invited me" to "I just wanted something to do this weekend". We heard a LOT of "I'm already starving", "I may go home early", "I hope you have enough r for me!", "There better be Gatorade", and "I hope I don't get bored"; the focus started out completely focused on the individual self.
World Vision puts together a very cool game every year, called "Tribe". It could easily be compared to the National reality TV show "Survivor". What's another Spirit motivated side to this game is that each challenge includes a time of devotion and reflexion on how it compares to one of God's promises in His Word; the Bible. This year, teens went through a True/False round to determine "Tribal Leaders" and learned fast facts about how hunger effects more than just the stomach, but also causes loss of education and lack of income for families. Participants were then numbered off and placed in Tribes; Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Zambia, Uganda, and Bolivia. Each participant received a card with the identity of a child and had to take on their lifestyle through the challenges; such as blindness, loss of a limb, weakness from hunger or Malaria, or being mute. We had heavy backpacks, sunglasses, duct tape, gloves, and earplugs to make these characteristics more real.
Tribes went through the same challenges actual people go through in the villages they represented: working together to keep other tribes from stealing what little food they had (garbage bags filled with rice and binder clipped to their pockets/belt loops), find food through droughts (balloons filled with food items written on strips of paper), use anything they could to gather water (ladles, cups, milk cartons, buckets that dumped into a kiddie pool), prevent mosquitos from spreading diseases like Malaria (finding pieces of a flashlight and putting them together, then shining it through a bed sheet that represented a bed net), and make it safely across a flood (using items from their overnight packing to get across from one end of a gymnasium to the other).
In the midst of all this fun and excitement we do a candle vigil in memory of the lives of children under the age of five that are lost due to hunger and malnutrition. Because of the help from organizations like World Vision and NCM, the numbers have dropped. Instead of one child dying every 7 seconds, one is lost every 12 seconds. That is still a number that should strike us all as troubling, considering there is enough food in the entire world that, if it were evenly distributed to every person, each one of us would have 4.5 pounds to eat per day. So me and three other chaperones took turns blowing out one candle every 12 seconds to represent a life lost to this preventable cause of death. By the time the last candle is left standing, the image really shows us how important the "light" from one life truly is. This message started spreading throughout the night and really helped begin a new focus on working together and encouraging one another, not only in surviving, but growing as God's Church as well.
We spent the rest of the day playing volleyball and making t-shirts.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
The Fourth of July, and Encountering God
Yesterday, I hung out with one of the teens at the St Louis Arch for the fourth of July celebration. He said he was bringing his guitar. I automatically pictured it shattering into a million pieces in the crush of the crowded MetroLink, which led me to recommend he not bring it. Sometimes I am glad teens don't always listen.
The first place we sat to play music a man from the streets joined us and shared with us some of his blues influence. He talked about playing music from the heart as if no one was there to listen. That really spoke to me.
We were later stopped by another man sitting on the railing of the steps that lead down to the waters edge. He plays a 12 string guitar and introduced us to a song that he wrote about God's Spirit moving through us. He talked with us about being excited to be a part of The Church, outside of the church building, where our lives are truly lived in the presence of this fallen world.
As the night started drawing closer we had several others join us. They were not your average "churchy" crowd. Each one had been drinking alcohol to the point of being unable to balance their cups, clothing cut short to bear the heat of the day, tattoos, piercings, and a vocabulary colorful enough that would not only make Webster shiver in his grave but also put the Urban Dictionary to shame.
What thrilled me was the Love of God that drew them all in. One woman asked if we could play a song where she could be an echo because she loves to sing, a couple of guys went from requesting songs from mainstream acid rock to asking us for more of this Christian type music we play, and another girl came forward from her quietness and said she felt like she wanted what we were singing about! As it turns out, she once had accepted Christ but gave up on things when the world deceived her into thinking God had turned His back. We had the opportunity to talk to her about giving the relationship with Christ another shot, and William, the teen that brought his guitar, got to tell her a little about how hard it has been for him at times when he has felt like life wasn't worth fighting for, yet when he put his faith and trust in God, received the hope to get through and has started finding complete joy through his darkest hours. She agreed to give it another go, and God's kingdom grew by one more soul returning to the Family last night!
Through all of this, I am reminded of a song from The Fray that caused a lot of controversy a while back. The beginning says, "I found God at the corner of First and Amistad where the West was all but won. All alone, smoking His last cigarette, I said 'Where've You been?', He said, 'Ask anything.'" Have you ever thought about who God is speaking through to try and reach you? Is He limited to inly using those of us that look and act a certain way? Is it possible that God can even show us His way by speaking to us through a sinner? And how is a Christian suppose to look? How tattered and worn do our clothes, messy our hair, and smelly our bodies have to be to keep us from a relationship with Christ?
In the end, God Loves each of us, including those we may never meet unless God walks them into our life
I complimented the man on the street's shades. He took them off his face and gave them to me, saying everything we own is rubbish and temporary, if we allow anything to tie us down we will decay right along with it. Our treasure is in Heaven! I was surprised and thanked him. Later that night, when trying them on I realized the lenses were a little blurred - as it turned out, these shades were his prescription lenses...and he gave them to me! How humbling of an encounter that turned out to be! Our vision is important to us; most of us find it annoying not being able to see. This man reached out and handed me his sight!
When you pray, be ready for how God will creatively answer. Yesterday, I encountered God through His people. When I started to say lets move on, God showed up in someone else. He will get through, and He will get you through, but we must stay focused to tune in.
We ended the day sitting by the ricer getting ready for the fireworks. A couple of people around us asked us to sing and play the guitar because no one could hear the live music down where we were. As we were ending Light Up the Sky, the first set of fireworks went off. What a great way to end a day filled with encountering God through His Church!
The first place we sat to play music a man from the streets joined us and shared with us some of his blues influence. He talked about playing music from the heart as if no one was there to listen. That really spoke to me.
We were later stopped by another man sitting on the railing of the steps that lead down to the waters edge. He plays a 12 string guitar and introduced us to a song that he wrote about God's Spirit moving through us. He talked with us about being excited to be a part of The Church, outside of the church building, where our lives are truly lived in the presence of this fallen world.
As the night started drawing closer we had several others join us. They were not your average "churchy" crowd. Each one had been drinking alcohol to the point of being unable to balance their cups, clothing cut short to bear the heat of the day, tattoos, piercings, and a vocabulary colorful enough that would not only make Webster shiver in his grave but also put the Urban Dictionary to shame.
What thrilled me was the Love of God that drew them all in. One woman asked if we could play a song where she could be an echo because she loves to sing, a couple of guys went from requesting songs from mainstream acid rock to asking us for more of this Christian type music we play, and another girl came forward from her quietness and said she felt like she wanted what we were singing about! As it turns out, she once had accepted Christ but gave up on things when the world deceived her into thinking God had turned His back. We had the opportunity to talk to her about giving the relationship with Christ another shot, and William, the teen that brought his guitar, got to tell her a little about how hard it has been for him at times when he has felt like life wasn't worth fighting for, yet when he put his faith and trust in God, received the hope to get through and has started finding complete joy through his darkest hours. She agreed to give it another go, and God's kingdom grew by one more soul returning to the Family last night!
Through all of this, I am reminded of a song from The Fray that caused a lot of controversy a while back. The beginning says, "I found God at the corner of First and Amistad where the West was all but won. All alone, smoking His last cigarette, I said 'Where've You been?', He said, 'Ask anything.'" Have you ever thought about who God is speaking through to try and reach you? Is He limited to inly using those of us that look and act a certain way? Is it possible that God can even show us His way by speaking to us through a sinner? And how is a Christian suppose to look? How tattered and worn do our clothes, messy our hair, and smelly our bodies have to be to keep us from a relationship with Christ?
In the end, God Loves each of us, including those we may never meet unless God walks them into our life
I complimented the man on the street's shades. He took them off his face and gave them to me, saying everything we own is rubbish and temporary, if we allow anything to tie us down we will decay right along with it. Our treasure is in Heaven! I was surprised and thanked him. Later that night, when trying them on I realized the lenses were a little blurred - as it turned out, these shades were his prescription lenses...and he gave them to me! How humbling of an encounter that turned out to be! Our vision is important to us; most of us find it annoying not being able to see. This man reached out and handed me his sight!
When you pray, be ready for how God will creatively answer. Yesterday, I encountered God through His people. When I started to say lets move on, God showed up in someone else. He will get through, and He will get you through, but we must stay focused to tune in.
We ended the day sitting by the ricer getting ready for the fireworks. A couple of people around us asked us to sing and play the guitar because no one could hear the live music down where we were. As we were ending Light Up the Sky, the first set of fireworks went off. What a great way to end a day filled with encountering God through His Church!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Battle of the Judges
Yesterday I admittedly was guilty of being judgmental, and with my life being an open book I should not be afraid to admit that. For this I immediately want to apologize to my readers for.
I am preparing supplies for our upcoming 30 Hour Famine, which connect teens to Nazarene Compassionate Ministries and World Vision in an event where they'll volunteer their time and go 30 hours with no food in an effort to raise awareness for those suffering from malnutrition. It's also way more than just catching a glimpse of how it feels to starve; during the event the participants learn about how hunger effects education, business, society, economics, opens the door for diseases, and so much more. When it comes to an event like this, I want it to be no cost as evidence money is not a necessity when we come together to help each other out. We play a game called Tribe, similar to Survivor, and also offer opportunities for the participants to show compassion in their local communities; such as volunteering at a homeless shelter, serve food at soup kitchens, and lend a hand with yard work or spending time with kids at children's homes and orphanages.
One month prior to the event, I put out a list of needed supplies in hopes they are donated by people in the church. This year, I wasn't seeing much of anything from the list being given, and as I walked in to our youth center yesterday morning, seeing no change, immediately became heated and ranting about why the church has gotten to the point of not giving. By this time all that had been given were a few empty gallon jugs that someone dug out of the trash for me at the end of our church's vacation bible school and a folding table.
I had to leave to catch my breath. I was literally at the point of giving up hope. Such a sad place to be in life; loosing hope for mankind.
I prayed. I asked God to clear my mind and work with what He provided. Once I regained my composer an returned to the church, I noticed a couple of shopping bags on the floor that I overlooked before, (This is when I use a line from a popular Christmas story because of the surprise and joy the discovery made me feel) when what, through my wandering eyes, did appear? Two shopping bags from the dollar store, filled with flashlights, ladles, batteries, water bottles, pens, Sharpies, and more! Donated specifically for Famine use!
It by no means completes the list of needed supplies, but did put a major dent in the start of what we needed for each game of Tribe, which will place the participants in the shoes of those who suffer just to find water halfway clean enough to drink, or have to coss flooded river-beds for safety after their families have been separated by disaster.
I had to stop and ask for forgiveness for my pre-concluded notion that no one really cared. It was still less than what I had hoped for, but far greater are the tools God provides through his people than any I could pull together on my own! Now, when three churches come together to find out what it's like to go a while feeling hungry, they'll see examples of how we can give through means, other than money, to show love to our neighbors. I learned even more about contentment and blind faith through this and continue growing in my relationship with our Creator and Giver of Life! All of this is a gift from Him. How will we invest what He entrusts to our care? Will we look at it and say, "This is not enough!", or be thankful by sharing His Love with others and supporting each other in this daily battle to survive in a chaotic world? Will we spread judgement and dwell on how we feel other people should be living, or pray for our neighbors as part of the Body of Christ and trust God in the molding and shaping of the heart? Do we try to take it upon ourselves to accomplish great things, or let go of our personal desires by placing them fully in the hands of God?
I am preparing supplies for our upcoming 30 Hour Famine, which connect teens to Nazarene Compassionate Ministries and World Vision in an event where they'll volunteer their time and go 30 hours with no food in an effort to raise awareness for those suffering from malnutrition. It's also way more than just catching a glimpse of how it feels to starve; during the event the participants learn about how hunger effects education, business, society, economics, opens the door for diseases, and so much more. When it comes to an event like this, I want it to be no cost as evidence money is not a necessity when we come together to help each other out. We play a game called Tribe, similar to Survivor, and also offer opportunities for the participants to show compassion in their local communities; such as volunteering at a homeless shelter, serve food at soup kitchens, and lend a hand with yard work or spending time with kids at children's homes and orphanages.
One month prior to the event, I put out a list of needed supplies in hopes they are donated by people in the church. This year, I wasn't seeing much of anything from the list being given, and as I walked in to our youth center yesterday morning, seeing no change, immediately became heated and ranting about why the church has gotten to the point of not giving. By this time all that had been given were a few empty gallon jugs that someone dug out of the trash for me at the end of our church's vacation bible school and a folding table.
I had to leave to catch my breath. I was literally at the point of giving up hope. Such a sad place to be in life; loosing hope for mankind.
I prayed. I asked God to clear my mind and work with what He provided. Once I regained my composer an returned to the church, I noticed a couple of shopping bags on the floor that I overlooked before, (This is when I use a line from a popular Christmas story because of the surprise and joy the discovery made me feel) when what, through my wandering eyes, did appear? Two shopping bags from the dollar store, filled with flashlights, ladles, batteries, water bottles, pens, Sharpies, and more! Donated specifically for Famine use!
It by no means completes the list of needed supplies, but did put a major dent in the start of what we needed for each game of Tribe, which will place the participants in the shoes of those who suffer just to find water halfway clean enough to drink, or have to coss flooded river-beds for safety after their families have been separated by disaster.
I had to stop and ask for forgiveness for my pre-concluded notion that no one really cared. It was still less than what I had hoped for, but far greater are the tools God provides through his people than any I could pull together on my own! Now, when three churches come together to find out what it's like to go a while feeling hungry, they'll see examples of how we can give through means, other than money, to show love to our neighbors. I learned even more about contentment and blind faith through this and continue growing in my relationship with our Creator and Giver of Life! All of this is a gift from Him. How will we invest what He entrusts to our care? Will we look at it and say, "This is not enough!", or be thankful by sharing His Love with others and supporting each other in this daily battle to survive in a chaotic world? Will we spread judgement and dwell on how we feel other people should be living, or pray for our neighbors as part of the Body of Christ and trust God in the molding and shaping of the heart? Do we try to take it upon ourselves to accomplish great things, or let go of our personal desires by placing them fully in the hands of God?
Monday, July 2, 2012
Skating Backwards
Sitting here blogging to the beats of a skating rink. I can honestly say I never thought I'd take up skating...but St Louis has its own unique style and I love it! I've loosened up so much more since I started.
Also, today I ran into a ginormous variety of people, which really added breath to the statement that everyone is unique in their own crazy way. Can I please add one thing though? Please, please, please ask yourself why your kid might be making the choices they're making if you are a parent and cuss, drink, smoke, talk about porn, dress like you belong to a nudist colony, and start fights in front of your kids. If you ask me that question, I will stare at you with that look that simply says, "really?".
Also, I don't know how to skate backwards...that would be a good thing to learn.
Also, today I ran into a ginormous variety of people, which really added breath to the statement that everyone is unique in their own crazy way. Can I please add one thing though? Please, please, please ask yourself why your kid might be making the choices they're making if you are a parent and cuss, drink, smoke, talk about porn, dress like you belong to a nudist colony, and start fights in front of your kids. If you ask me that question, I will stare at you with that look that simply says, "really?".
Also, I don't know how to skate backwards...that would be a good thing to learn.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
God Is ABC
Last Night was our final night for Vacation Bible School. Angela, our song leader for opening, led us all in a game of toss the ball, where when you caught the ball you had to use the next letter in the alphabet to describe God. We learned a lot about who He is to each of us, including "Dan" for the letter D - given by Pastor Jay before coming up with a much more inspiring "Deliverer".
Given the opportunity, here is what I come up with:
God is:
Awesome
Big
Creator
Deliverer
Eternal
Faithful
Good
Healer
Intelligent
Joyful
Kind
Love
Majestic
Neat
Omnipotent
Powerful
Quiet
Righteous
Spirit
Truth
Umbrella
Victorious
Wonderful
[has] X-Ray vision
Yearning
Zealous
How would you describe God using all the letters of the alphabet? How often do we stop and consider who He is to us?
Given the opportunity, here is what I come up with:
God is:
Awesome
Big
Creator
Deliverer
Eternal
Faithful
Good
Healer
Intelligent
Joyful
Kind
Love
Majestic
Neat
Omnipotent
Powerful
Quiet
Righteous
Spirit
Truth
Umbrella
Victorious
Wonderful
[has] X-Ray vision
Yearning
Zealous
How would you describe God using all the letters of the alphabet? How often do we stop and consider who He is to us?
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Bring on the Shoes
I had my first 12 hour shift yesterday as Key-holder. I was so thankful for the flow of traffic that made everything flow so much smoother, but it was also a day filled with several returns...that kinda bummed me out. In the end, however, we still came up 25% higher than the planned sales amount as a store! Today I work till 2:00, BRING ON THE SHOES!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
The Weekend
Just a quick five minute blog this morning to cover why it has been a few days since my last blog post. I like to take the weekends off from blogging so that my thoughts don't just end up being mundane and off track. Sometimes we need that break; it's why God took the seventh day off after creating all of this awesomeness around is and suggested we do the same. But beyond that, this weekend held something else for me - MY 26th BIRTHDAY!
I have to say it was truly a blessing. I really do love presents - even though I guess I am no longer a kid - but I will always be a kid at heart! Even though I didn't receive any physical gifts, the few cards I got were filled with great reminders of how I am not alone and how much I am loved. My sister and her husband and girls got me a gift card to my favorite restaurant, Red Lobster!, and my parents helped pay off the rest of my previous college debt! My pastor took me out to eat at Joe's Crab Shack on Sunday where I was treated to Lobster and Queen Crab, and another family in the church gave me a card with cash. One of the biggest surprises of my birthday was how many people responded with happy birthday blessings yesterday, over 200 of you wished me another great year! I am so thankful for everyone's support and excited about some sweet surprises in this new year!
I have to say it was truly a blessing. I really do love presents - even though I guess I am no longer a kid - but I will always be a kid at heart! Even though I didn't receive any physical gifts, the few cards I got were filled with great reminders of how I am not alone and how much I am loved. My sister and her husband and girls got me a gift card to my favorite restaurant, Red Lobster!, and my parents helped pay off the rest of my previous college debt! My pastor took me out to eat at Joe's Crab Shack on Sunday where I was treated to Lobster and Queen Crab, and another family in the church gave me a card with cash. One of the biggest surprises of my birthday was how many people responded with happy birthday blessings yesterday, over 200 of you wished me another great year! I am so thankful for everyone's support and excited about some sweet surprises in this new year!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Karen the Bus Monitor
There is a ten minute video floating around of a bus monitor being bullied by these ruthless grade school kids. She's literally being called fat, a troll, almost every explicative word you can think of, and they even go as far as asking for her address so they can egg and pee on her house. When I first heard about this being a bullying case and hadn't seen how intense the taunting was, I really thought it was a little much for it to be called a "harassment" case. After watching the video, I am amazed at how Karen, the victim, maintained her composure while being trapped in a bus seat while one kid was video tapping this whole scene while several of his friends joined in tearing this lady emotionally apart. Not once in this whole ordeal did the actual bus driver make any motions to stop what was happening.
A fund has started to raise money for her to take a vacation. The initial hope was to raise a small amount, and at this point the total has passed $410,000.
There's the scoop. Here's my beef; the question the media is pushing is wether it is right or wrong for Karen to get this fund thats been raised for her. On a radio program this morning, one of the listeners called in and said they felt it was wrong and that it shows how greedy America has become. While I agree America is not a humble nation, I have to ask where the selfishness is. If I see a need and want to reach out to help, at what point do I stop people from giving and say, "whoa, that's too much compassion!"?
If anything, I find hope in all of this! The fact that a few Americans can start out with the intention of raising a few dollars to help someone take a peaceful vacation and it turn into thousands shows we really don't have to be caught in a recession and nation-wide debt if we pull our resources together. It amazes me that in a time when no one apparently has any money, and jobs are at an all time low, a few thousand people can put $500k in an envelope and give it away to one person as a gift in the hopes that they'll feel like maybe life isn't so bad.
Hope from this story also comes from the simple fact that people still come together to respond to a neighbor in need. In a world that claims it's a vicious war of every man for himself, a web of support for one another can still be found. This gift of compassion was pulled together in less than a day, and it's still a growing fund! Imagine the encouragement we would have for each other and value we would see in ourselves if we learned from the love Karen is being shown through those who want her to know she didn't deserve the torture she went through. What can we learn from Karen's ability to stay strong and hold back her anger through more than ten minutes of seclusion and harassment, then afterward standing up and saying she doesn't want to press charges and still loves the kids that showed her so much hatred? Instead of doing everything we can to find the wrong, how could we build the bridges that would connect all of our islands of pride together to become a united nation again? There is hope, but hope doesn't do the work for us. It is not something we obtain by waiting for it to cone to us; we must run to it.
A fund has started to raise money for her to take a vacation. The initial hope was to raise a small amount, and at this point the total has passed $410,000.
There's the scoop. Here's my beef; the question the media is pushing is wether it is right or wrong for Karen to get this fund thats been raised for her. On a radio program this morning, one of the listeners called in and said they felt it was wrong and that it shows how greedy America has become. While I agree America is not a humble nation, I have to ask where the selfishness is. If I see a need and want to reach out to help, at what point do I stop people from giving and say, "whoa, that's too much compassion!"?
If anything, I find hope in all of this! The fact that a few Americans can start out with the intention of raising a few dollars to help someone take a peaceful vacation and it turn into thousands shows we really don't have to be caught in a recession and nation-wide debt if we pull our resources together. It amazes me that in a time when no one apparently has any money, and jobs are at an all time low, a few thousand people can put $500k in an envelope and give it away to one person as a gift in the hopes that they'll feel like maybe life isn't so bad.
Hope from this story also comes from the simple fact that people still come together to respond to a neighbor in need. In a world that claims it's a vicious war of every man for himself, a web of support for one another can still be found. This gift of compassion was pulled together in less than a day, and it's still a growing fund! Imagine the encouragement we would have for each other and value we would see in ourselves if we learned from the love Karen is being shown through those who want her to know she didn't deserve the torture she went through. What can we learn from Karen's ability to stay strong and hold back her anger through more than ten minutes of seclusion and harassment, then afterward standing up and saying she doesn't want to press charges and still loves the kids that showed her so much hatred? Instead of doing everything we can to find the wrong, how could we build the bridges that would connect all of our islands of pride together to become a united nation again? There is hope, but hope doesn't do the work for us. It is not something we obtain by waiting for it to cone to us; we must run to it.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Let Loose.
I hung out with a couple new friends today; one is a girl I will be attending Greenville College with starting in the Fall. We ended up hanging out at a lake and they buried me in the sand, forming the shape of a mermaid. Yep, I was a mermaid today. Anyway, it really helped loosen me up. I discovered I may be a random thinker, but for the most part I am pretty laid back and easy going. When it comes to letting loose - speaking in unrecognizable, made up, foreign languages, planking, on boats at a marina, randomly being turned into a sand mermaid - it takes me a while. I don't know why that is, but it felt really good to be able to do that today.
It was a reminder not to take life as only serious. It's ok to let loose once in a while.
It was a reminder not to take life as only serious. It's ok to let loose once in a while.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Speeches
I have never been into reading or writing. Through school they were some of my easiest subjects, but I just never really picked it up for fun. Then God brought me into youth ministry and music; there's nothing like feeling the freedom of being open and honest to the world without fearing the criticism of others or how your words effect those who receive them.
It was fearful at the beginning of starting this blog, because, let's face it, we all feel like we have to impress people with our stories when we first start speaking out. At the same time, we are so caught up in making sure our words are not offensive. Sometimes the truth hurts and we are afraid of saying it for fear of being criticized or rejected, no matter how desperately the truth needs to be heard.
I am still being shaped and moulded by God, my Creator, Savior, and King. Because of His Spirit thriving in me, and giving myself over to Him, it is His words that flow out of my mouth. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body, so I would much rather God be in control of it and shape my thoughts than for me to be behind the controls.
It is still a challenge for me to write this blog; I've taken it as something positive for my life in Christ. If I start writing and find that I choose to hide some truths, I stop and pray about why I am letting them come before God. Being an open book, never knowing who in the world will read it, helps me to stay in a close relationship with Christ. When I know I have nothing to hide, I know I won't be leading anyone on the wrong path that follows me - especially since my hands and feet are to lead others to Christ.
It was fearful at the beginning of starting this blog, because, let's face it, we all feel like we have to impress people with our stories when we first start speaking out. At the same time, we are so caught up in making sure our words are not offensive. Sometimes the truth hurts and we are afraid of saying it for fear of being criticized or rejected, no matter how desperately the truth needs to be heard.
I am still being shaped and moulded by God, my Creator, Savior, and King. Because of His Spirit thriving in me, and giving myself over to Him, it is His words that flow out of my mouth. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body, so I would much rather God be in control of it and shape my thoughts than for me to be behind the controls.
It is still a challenge for me to write this blog; I've taken it as something positive for my life in Christ. If I start writing and find that I choose to hide some truths, I stop and pray about why I am letting them come before God. Being an open book, never knowing who in the world will read it, helps me to stay in a close relationship with Christ. When I know I have nothing to hide, I know I won't be leading anyone on the wrong path that follows me - especially since my hands and feet are to lead others to Christ.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Fun Day for a Monday
You're right! I didn't post a blog yesterday...I was having loads of fun hanging out with my family at the zoo and Chuck E Cheese's! 
Friday, June 15, 2012
Quick Recap of My Day
Simply put, today was my first day opening the store of Journeys for Kidz! Last night, I was handed an official key and finished my training! I must say everything went very smoothly. Before opening the gate for operations, I prated over the store and asked God's blessings upon it. My first sale of the day included two shoes, a pair of socks, and a Dora backpack; a "perfect" sale!
The day was kind of slow beyond that sale, but I managed to meet my store-set sales goal and filled in all the morning paperwork correctly! This is all praise and thanks to God for blessing me with this job! I worked from 9am-5pm today; my longest shift so far, but next week will have some great opportunities to spread those shifts like that throughout the week! Thankful that my hours are finally starting to pick up!
The day was kind of slow beyond that sale, but I managed to meet my store-set sales goal and filled in all the morning paperwork correctly! This is all praise and thanks to God for blessing me with this job! I worked from 9am-5pm today; my longest shift so far, but next week will have some great opportunities to spread those shifts like that throughout the week! Thankful that my hours are finally starting to pick up!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Taking the Streets
Last night one of my teens asked me if I wanted to go with him and sing on the street in Belleville. I have always thought singing on the street would be fun, but have never really had the courage to do it. When a teen asks you to hang out with them, it will usually end up being an encouraging opportunity and even a humbling experience. You can learn a lot from teenagers! I spared no time agreeing to go, and I am SO glad I did not back down!
Go brought so many people into our lives today, and we got to praise and worship Him with every single one of them! One guy told us it would be cool for us to join him and his friend down at a hot dog joint to play the blues for a free dog; he gave us a little treat by playing his harmonica! Another lady joined us with her two kids and thanked us for making her smile! One mom and her daughter talked to us about our church and the daughter played a little on my Cajon. She apparently plays the sticks and loves music! Haha, we told them both we need more people like them in our church!
After playing the circle in downtown belleville, we got thirsty and headed to Jimmy Johns. One of the employees talked to us about guitars and drums, and after I asked if it was alright for us to play in front of their store he said for sure! The rest of the afternoon, we were stopped by another guy that was Catholic in background an we talked about the Body of Christ not favoring specific denominations; that as Christians we all form The Church! Then a group of high schoolers asked if they could join us for a worship song after hearing me play my new cover of "Pay Phone" buy Maroon 5! (yes, I threw that one in the mix even though it's not a worship song) It is such a blast when people are excited to join in praising God, rather than it just being a source of entertainment!
I learned so much about freely enjoying the gifts and talents God has given us. Each of us have something to offer - maybe your gift only works if it is shared or given to others - but it will never be able to be used to glorify God if we choose to keep it to ourselves.
Matthew 25:14-30
Go brought so many people into our lives today, and we got to praise and worship Him with every single one of them! One guy told us it would be cool for us to join him and his friend down at a hot dog joint to play the blues for a free dog; he gave us a little treat by playing his harmonica! Another lady joined us with her two kids and thanked us for making her smile! One mom and her daughter talked to us about our church and the daughter played a little on my Cajon. She apparently plays the sticks and loves music! Haha, we told them both we need more people like them in our church!
After playing the circle in downtown belleville, we got thirsty and headed to Jimmy Johns. One of the employees talked to us about guitars and drums, and after I asked if it was alright for us to play in front of their store he said for sure! The rest of the afternoon, we were stopped by another guy that was Catholic in background an we talked about the Body of Christ not favoring specific denominations; that as Christians we all form The Church! Then a group of high schoolers asked if they could join us for a worship song after hearing me play my new cover of "Pay Phone" buy Maroon 5! (yes, I threw that one in the mix even though it's not a worship song) It is such a blast when people are excited to join in praising God, rather than it just being a source of entertainment!
I learned so much about freely enjoying the gifts and talents God has given us. Each of us have something to offer - maybe your gift only works if it is shared or given to others - but it will never be able to be used to glorify God if we choose to keep it to ourselves.
Matthew 25:14-30
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Words with Friends
Eye kud go in two righting two daise blogg with bigo werdz n korek gramer. Were E me sik wit centinse Frag Mints and Punch You Ashuns? Color bleu. But this iz my plais two B me n run with my hed n let it flo no stop in Andy wanet two say that wit ewe two days. Luv ewe alls!
Thank you all for reading my blog! I may not be the most eloquent or have it all together, but I love walking this life with you! Be the difference.
Thank you all for reading my blog! I may not be the most eloquent or have it all together, but I love walking this life with you! Be the difference.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The Blessing of Slowing Down
Today I just want to take the time to praise God for providing me the opportunity to be promoted to a key holder position with Journeys for Kidz! I have not been a part of their team for very long, but I love the atmosphere of the company, the desire to build relationships with our customers, and the creativity to put them in a style that speaks for their personalities.
After training yesterday, I got to go up to Roxana to meet with the Nazarene church's youth pastor there about how our upcoming 30 Hour Famine will look. This is that time when teens voluntarily give up food for 30 hours of their life to focus on serving others and being compassionate instead; an act of selfless love! I am excited about this year's event and the service projects involved with it, and praying that God's Holy Spirit be the Head of this ministry.
I ended the day by joining my friend, Brian, for some skate time. I had previously bought a pair of inline roller blades and decided to use those. As it turns out, if you don't grease the wheels after purchasing, skating on the floor is a pretty daunting task. I ended up renting a pair of regular skates and had a great time! One of the people that are obviously more talented than I at skating taught me how to "step". I was always taught faster is better, but if you want to learn dance moves with skating, stepping is very important. I learned a lot about slowing down in my own personal life yesterday...in fact, I am pretty sure that the season of growth God has me in now is training how to slow down and focus.
After training yesterday, I got to go up to Roxana to meet with the Nazarene church's youth pastor there about how our upcoming 30 Hour Famine will look. This is that time when teens voluntarily give up food for 30 hours of their life to focus on serving others and being compassionate instead; an act of selfless love! I am excited about this year's event and the service projects involved with it, and praying that God's Holy Spirit be the Head of this ministry.
I ended the day by joining my friend, Brian, for some skate time. I had previously bought a pair of inline roller blades and decided to use those. As it turns out, if you don't grease the wheels after purchasing, skating on the floor is a pretty daunting task. I ended up renting a pair of regular skates and had a great time! One of the people that are obviously more talented than I at skating taught me how to "step". I was always taught faster is better, but if you want to learn dance moves with skating, stepping is very important. I learned a lot about slowing down in my own personal life yesterday...in fact, I am pretty sure that the season of growth God has me in now is training how to slow down and focus.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Letting Loose
I had a busy weekend! Friday night BREAKOUT had an End of School Lock-In, which consisted of a swimming party and cook-out at one of our church family's homes on Scott Airforce Base. We had a blast with 9 of us all together!
When we drove onto the base it was almost 5:00. Our driver pulled up to a stoplight right as music started playing from the base sound system. The light turned green...and we didn't move. I don't know that much about base life, and one of my biggest pet peeves is when drivers stall on a green light, so I tried to help out.
"Hey John, the lights green."
"...John, buddy, the lights green, you can go."
"John! Go man!"
John- "It's the national anthem"
Me- *silenced*
As some of you know, I'm not the biggest national supporter of giving solute to a flag. It's not because I'm against America; I love that God blessed me to be born and raised in this country! I just am a little uncomfortable participating in something Shaderack, Meshack, and Abednego were thrown into a burning furnace for not supporting thousands of years ago. When it's looked down upon for not paying homage to a material possession we've created and give more honor to it than God, I don't view it as sacred.
That being said, I have a deep respect for those that serve to shield us from danger and keep our freedom in tact. On that base, it was hard for me to get over my pet peeve at the stop light, but I understood why they took the time to pause. It was more for the troops in service than it was for the flag itself.
After the swimming and the cook-out, including a short game of Chubby Bunny (John's wife, Sarah, is certified in CPR, no worries) we took a walk down about two miles of the base's walking track. Along the way we randomly planked some street signs and posts, tried out the death crawl like what appears in Facing the Giants, and a couple even gave piggy back rides. The rest of the night, the girls stayed up and watched a movie, while the guys took their party downstairs; we didn't go to sleep till about 4:00 in the AM because of being so trapped up in the most EPIC game of capture the flag, Call of Duty style! I'm not much of a gamer, so my gift to the cause was as a human meat shield. (whatever helps right?)
On Saturday, I got to celebrate the 90th birthday of a man I've had the honor of meeting through our church. Brother Hatter grew up working on a farm, and his cake reflected it; decked out with fields and tractors!
God really spoke through our pastor Sunday morning. His message was on not just giving our lives to Christ, but allowing His Holy Spirit to dwell and move inside of us! Worship was rough, as I was the only one of maybe two that joined in clapping while singing; apparently our congregation doesn't believe in movement being a form of worship, i don't know, but I catch all kinds of looks when I can't help but worship without sitting or standing l. I am thankful for that, because I hope that the excitement God has overflowing from my heart floods into the hearts of others! That is why Pastor Jay's message was so needed yesterday, our church's congregation needs their hearts to soften to allow God's Spirit to not just dwell inside the building, but flow through the veins of its people!
After worship we were all excited to celebrate the marriage of Chris and Tammy! They were two of my teens that decided to tie the knot, of which I could not be more excited for! They saw the importance of making a lifetime commitment to each other, much like the commitment they made to Christ during the year before! The only problem was, when the host proclaimed, "Time to open presents!", it dawned on me that a wedding shower really is a good time to bring a gift. My Sunday afternoon was spent shopping for them.
Last night was great, I joined two of our teens for "Let Loose"; a time when the teens can bring their friends and just let loose in an environment where they can feel unjudged, trusted, clean of negative language, and find freedom from the stresses of a busy life. We ended up playing at a small community playground water park and had to run through through it every time one of us got a question wrong. I started out saying I was going to stay dry, but ended up drenched. It didn't dawn on us that none of us had towels to dry off with till after we were soaked.
It was a weekend full of its ups and downs, but thats what building relationships with God and His Family is full of; a privilege I would never want to loose!
When we drove onto the base it was almost 5:00. Our driver pulled up to a stoplight right as music started playing from the base sound system. The light turned green...and we didn't move. I don't know that much about base life, and one of my biggest pet peeves is when drivers stall on a green light, so I tried to help out.
"Hey John, the lights green."
"...John, buddy, the lights green, you can go."
"John! Go man!"
John- "It's the national anthem"
Me- *silenced*
As some of you know, I'm not the biggest national supporter of giving solute to a flag. It's not because I'm against America; I love that God blessed me to be born and raised in this country! I just am a little uncomfortable participating in something Shaderack, Meshack, and Abednego were thrown into a burning furnace for not supporting thousands of years ago. When it's looked down upon for not paying homage to a material possession we've created and give more honor to it than God, I don't view it as sacred.
That being said, I have a deep respect for those that serve to shield us from danger and keep our freedom in tact. On that base, it was hard for me to get over my pet peeve at the stop light, but I understood why they took the time to pause. It was more for the troops in service than it was for the flag itself.
After the swimming and the cook-out, including a short game of Chubby Bunny (John's wife, Sarah, is certified in CPR, no worries) we took a walk down about two miles of the base's walking track. Along the way we randomly planked some street signs and posts, tried out the death crawl like what appears in Facing the Giants, and a couple even gave piggy back rides. The rest of the night, the girls stayed up and watched a movie, while the guys took their party downstairs; we didn't go to sleep till about 4:00 in the AM because of being so trapped up in the most EPIC game of capture the flag, Call of Duty style! I'm not much of a gamer, so my gift to the cause was as a human meat shield. (whatever helps right?)
On Saturday, I got to celebrate the 90th birthday of a man I've had the honor of meeting through our church. Brother Hatter grew up working on a farm, and his cake reflected it; decked out with fields and tractors!
God really spoke through our pastor Sunday morning. His message was on not just giving our lives to Christ, but allowing His Holy Spirit to dwell and move inside of us! Worship was rough, as I was the only one of maybe two that joined in clapping while singing; apparently our congregation doesn't believe in movement being a form of worship, i don't know, but I catch all kinds of looks when I can't help but worship without sitting or standing l. I am thankful for that, because I hope that the excitement God has overflowing from my heart floods into the hearts of others! That is why Pastor Jay's message was so needed yesterday, our church's congregation needs their hearts to soften to allow God's Spirit to not just dwell inside the building, but flow through the veins of its people!
After worship we were all excited to celebrate the marriage of Chris and Tammy! They were two of my teens that decided to tie the knot, of which I could not be more excited for! They saw the importance of making a lifetime commitment to each other, much like the commitment they made to Christ during the year before! The only problem was, when the host proclaimed, "Time to open presents!", it dawned on me that a wedding shower really is a good time to bring a gift. My Sunday afternoon was spent shopping for them.
Last night was great, I joined two of our teens for "Let Loose"; a time when the teens can bring their friends and just let loose in an environment where they can feel unjudged, trusted, clean of negative language, and find freedom from the stresses of a busy life. We ended up playing at a small community playground water park and had to run through through it every time one of us got a question wrong. I started out saying I was going to stay dry, but ended up drenched. It didn't dawn on us that none of us had towels to dry off with till after we were soaked.
It was a weekend full of its ups and downs, but thats what building relationships with God and His Family is full of; a privilege I would never want to loose!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)