Selfish Devotion

It's one of those selfish ambitions: to feel like I can get more out of the Word of God by myself rather than sharing a devotional with someone - the risk that they're going to have a different viewpoint than you and lead you to not get what you hope to get out of it, maybe they're not as philosophical as you are, or maybe they wont slow down enough and the fear of missing something sets in.

Yesterday, I went to Mount Vernon to catch lunch with Ryan S. He grew up under my youth ministry at my parents' church and has now finished his first year at Grace College as a French major. Since attending college, he has taken an opportunity to lead in a youth ministry, and I had the privilege of hearing him tell me about a few of the blessings and struggles he had while serving!

What was great about yesterday was when he asked if we were still going to the park after lunch and if we needed our bibles! I was like, YES! LET'S DO THAT! Going into the day we had talked about just hanging out for an hour or two with a completely random, unplanned list of things to do...basically the list was empty. What started out as catching up on old times at the local Mc Donald's and plankin' at the city park for a couple hours ended up being a four hour devotion reading the end of the book of Job!

At first, I must admit, I really wanted to finish Job on my own, because this time through it I have found myself being humbled by the majesty of God and wanted no distractions when I got to the part where God speaks His final words. If I would have done that, I would not have experienced the blessings that were given yesterday. Because of being open to another's viewpoint, God opened my heart to even more of what He was saying through His Word, and we both grew as brothers in Christ!

(If you haven't been following my Twitter life, you missed out on some amazing quotes from Job, his friend Elihu, and finally God's final words that i posted that were a HUGE influence on me. Feel free to follow me at www.twitter.com/muzikmantim! You can also catch my latest tweets on the side of this blog!)

After getting crushed and restored by the words of God, we spent a lot of time in prayer. Prayer is a hard form of worship to grow accustomed to because it does not come naturally for us to communicate to someone we cannot see, touch, hear in the same way as everyone else, taste (ya, that'd be weird, but you get the point), or smell (but I am sure God has an extremely pleasing aroma!). It requires blind faith and trust; two values that are almost lost in todays world. What is such a blessing about having another person to share with, in a personal time with God moment, is that each other's values, characteristics, similarities, and even differences, work together to make faith and trust more understandable.

God's creative works are so much grander than ours. Our relationships with each other reflect on how our relationship is with God. If we are selfish with ourselves - only caring about what we want alone - our relationship with God probably consists of a lot of questions as to why we never hear Him, see Him at work in our lives, and feel like He has left us to fend for ourselves. The truth is, that's what we are asking Him to let us do, and in His great Love of not binding us as slaves He allows us that choice of how to live. If we are selfish with our friends - naturally feeling like they should be available when we want them, and unavailable when we don't - our relationship with God may depend on how controlling we can be of Him...which isn't very much. If we are selfish with those we are in a romantic relationship with - keeping them from spending time with their friends and family, not letting them talk to certain people just because we're not very comfortable with them, and wanting them more to ourselves - our relationship with God will consist of us not being willing to share Him with others either. Could you imagine not wanting others to experience the same Love that God has lavished upon you?

It is easier to say than actually doing it though - wanting everyone else to experience that Love and intimacy that you share with God - but when it comes down to the opportunity for someone else to share in that moment, will you be able to open up a spot at your table for God to pour out His blessings? Will you be willing to not be the only one that experiences the warmth of His grace?