Uncapping the Bottle

I feel like I have been uninvolved in my own blog way too long, so I might as well start by saying welcome back! If I hope for anyone to follow these random thoughts of mine, I should probably be more sharing of what I do from day to day. So let me begin by summarizing what I have been blessed to go through in the past several week.

I am currently typing this entry using my cell phone. It has become my window to the world, with connecting becoming so much of a common thread through avenues like Twitter, Facebook, SocialCam, Instagram, Pinterest, and LinkedIn, and it is all available at our fingertips! The problem with that is face to face time building relationships has become an increasingly awkward situation and has begun quietly sliding in this acidic mindset of that kind of relationship only being for couples who are "in love".
As a youth pastor, I cannot count how many times someone has looked at me funny and automatically jumps to questioning when I say things like li care for you", "i support you", "if you ever need me don't hesitate to call", "I love you, man!", and "wanna hang out?"

But thankfully, I have experienced so much of God's never failing Love recently! This month I faced having to find a new place to sleep. The family God worked through to bless me with a bed to sleep in began asking for rent; until recently, the only positions I held was Youth Pastor and Singer/Songwriter- my average income being around $6000 a year. Rent has not even remotely been an option.

This month God blessed me with a new job! I now have the joy of helping kids express themselves in the styles and brands that Journeys for Kidz offers, which is great because I am a Vans, Converse, and Toms kinda guy. Recently, a friend of mine said that as Christians we have to like Toms, because its part of being one! Haha, the truth is, I am constantly drawn in to organizations designed to not just profit themselves, but spread compassion all over the world. Organizations and companies like Toms, Hello Somebody, I Won't Watch, Livestrong, Three Avocados, Chick-Fil-A, World Vision, Goodwill, and Come and Live Records will continue to be supported by me because I get excited about people serving people! I love having the opportunity to be a representative for a company that gives people the means to be supportive too!

The same week I had to move out without a place to sleep, i ran into financial struggle, which started before...because of making so little, I had to use my overdraft card every month for simple things like food and gas...and eventually led to me reaching the maximum amount I could borrow from the card. Now any purchase I would try to make would be denied and I was left with no options; I was beginning to know what it was like to be homeless and hungry.

I don't have a lot of bills - a small loan left over from college a few years ago, a small monthly car payment that most people would consider extremely cheap, insurance to make driving it legal, and this cell phone i use to connect with the world - but on my income it doesnt leave a lot of room for anything else, and I always shop the clearance racks and major markdowns when it comes to what I wear.

Needless to say, I became quiet and secluded from sharing what was really going through my head with anyone except those who God has brought into my life as my closest friends. Without them, I don't think I would be here to share this with you today. God had lived through their hands and feet to begin teaching me about having blind faith in His provision, and they most likely don't know it. So a special thank you goes out to Brian, Dalton, Meghan, Katie, Alyssa, Kevin, Ryan, my sister Heather, Justin, Tim Y, Tim C, Sarah, Kaitlyn, Melanie, Jan, and recently Melissa. There are many others I could continue to thank, but these have really been there for me even though they may not always have understood why I make the decisions that I live for.

I had no other choice but to spend a day in the church just sitting in silence and listening for God. I left without having any absolute answers. Have you ever given all of the time you feel like you have to give and still feel like God's chosen not to talk to you? The only thing I could think of to say before getting up from that place was that In His hands I place my understanding.

The next day at work, my pastor surprised me by bringing me a tiket to join him and his wife at a Cardinals baseball game, then someone from our church came in behind him. They asked if I could speak to them in private, which was at first somewhat uncomfortable. The relationship I've had with her and her husband has been somewhat confusing and misguided recently, which has been kind of a downer for me because I have always wanted to get along with them. I immediately followed her to the entrance of the store, where she handed me cash that I knew was also a sacrifice for her to give and told me she felt like God wanted her to give it to me without questions. I don't believe she knows this, but that gift gave me life.

That night I sent out texts to several people asking for prayer. I needed answers to where I was suppose to sleep at night! God lived through their responses. Again in an act to provide, everyone who I asked for prayer from offered me solutions for places to stay, and now I couldn't feel more humbled! Because of the love God has placed in their hearts, I now stay in the guest room of Tim and Andrea. They have four amazing kids that are extremely kind and full of life! I got to enjoy a meal with them before moving in and they gave me a tour of their garden and beautiful home. The next day I slept on one of my futon cushions that I laid on the floor; a blessing considering I could have ended up on a park bench or in a parking space at the nearest rest stop, but the blessings they outpoured didnt stop! The next day I walk in and they had put a bed together for me to sleep on and told me there was no sense of me sleeping on the floor! Not only that but I was greeted with a drawing of flowers their daughter had made with crayon and placed on the door!

I hope to have every opportunity to return the kindness and generosity.

God continues to provide. One week ago tomorrow my boss pulled me aside and wanted to speak to me. The hours were starting to be very limited and, being the new guy, I feared being let go; an event I wouldn't have been surprised with when I already felt like I was loosing everything else. Instead, she asked me if I would be interested in being trained as a keyholder; someone able to open or close the store, and manage the money flow as well as have more hours! I start training this week!

I dont share this to glorify myself in how I go through pain or suffering, but to give all the praise and worship to God who supplies our every need and never goes by our timing! We are so limited to what we can accomplish on our own, but with God all is possible! He is our Life-Giver, our Supplier, our Shelter, our Bread of Life, our Creator, our King, our Companion, our Mentor and Counselor. God is Love!

Today, I am sitting in McDonalds in Granite City. I enjoyed the most delicious bacon, egg, and cheese bagel and a water, and at 12:15, I am just now getting to the end of this blog entry. I could sing of His Love forever!, but today is too beautiful of a day not to enjoy more of His creation by spending time in Forest Park.

Be kind, have compassion on your brothers and sisters, offer love to your neighbors, friend and enemy alike. Whatever you do for the least, you do for our Father, who's Love is far greater and beyond understanding!